Sooooo, it’s my birthday! 🎂

I’m 22 today. And honestly? I’ve got a lot to be proud of. From starting a new “big girl” job to reaching huge milestones in recovery, building real relationships, and growing closer with family, so much has happened in the lead-up to this birthday. But what’s even more wild is how much life has been packed into just 22 years. Lessons I didn’t ask for, changes I never saw coming, and growth I didn’t realise I was capable of.

So, in honour of all that’s been – and all that’s still to come – here are 22 things I’ve learnt in 22 years. The messy, the meaningful, and the things I’m still figuring out.

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1. You’re allowed to change your mind.

About people, career paths, beliefs, goals. Changing doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’ve grown.

2. Healing isn’t linear.

Recovery (from anything—an ED, burnout, heartbreak) isn’t a straight line. It’s full of ups and downs, and that doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.

3. Living at home doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

The cost of living is a nightmare. Living with family while building your life is smart, not shameful.

4. Some jobs just aren’t worth your mental health.

You don’t have to stay in a toxic workplace for the sake of your CV. I’ve walked away before, and it was hard—but I’d do it again.

5. There’s no shame in starting again.

I’ve dropped out of uni. I’ve changed jobs multiple times. I’ve “quit” things and come back to them later. It’s okay to pivot.

6. Your worth is not your productivity.

You are more than what you do. You’re allowed to rest, just because you’re tired—not because you’ve earned it.

7. The “glow up” doesn’t have to be physical.

Looking better doesn’t always mean feeling better. The real glow up is being kinder to yourself.

8. Social media is not real life.

We know this. But when you’re scrolling at 11pm comparing yourself to strangers—it’s easy to forget.

9. You don’t need to monetise every hobby.

It’s okay to do things simply because you enjoy them. Not everything has to become a side hustle.

10. Boundaries are not selfish.

Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad friend, daughter, colleague or partner. It makes you honest.

11. Recovery will change you—in good ways.

It will force you to confront the parts of yourself you’ve avoided. And that growth? It’s the most beautiful part.

12. You don’t owe anyone your trauma.

Just because you’ve been through it, doesn’t mean you have to share it. You can keep parts sacred.

13. You’re allowed to be proud of small wins.

Getting out of bed. Going outside. Saying no. Speaking up. It all counts.

14. Late bloomers are often the most grounded.

You don’t need to be a CEO by 25. Some of the most powerful things take time.

15. Missing people doesn’t mean you need them back.

Grief, nostalgia, closure—none of them mean you made the wrong choice by walking away.

16. There’s strength in softness.

You don’t have to be “strong” all the time. Sometimes the bravest thing is to admit you’re not okay.

17. You can outgrow people without hating them.

Friendship breakups, especially in your twenties, are real. And they hurt. But that doesn’t mean it was anyone’s fault.

18. Not all passions need to become careers.

Sometimes the things you love are meant to stay safe and untouched by pressure or income.

19. Time off social media is medicine.

Even if you work in it. Even if you love it. Quiet is powerful.

20. You don’t have to “have it all figured out.”

I’m 22. I’ve dropped out of uni. I’ve had four jobs. I still live at home. And I’m still growing.

21. You are not behind.

There is no finish line. Life is not a race. You’re not late—you’re right on time.

22. You’re allowed to take up space.

Even when you feel like too much. Even when you’re told to shrink. You belong, as you are.

If any of these resonate, I’m glad. I didn’t write them as rules, or mantras, or even advice. I wrote them as reminders—for you, and for me.

Here’s to 22. And to whoever we’re still becoming ❤️