Scrolling through Instagram, wondering if everyone else has life figured out? Spoiler: They don’t, and you’re not alone. Between TikToks about ‘hot girl walks’ and friends announcing promotions, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. But you’re not.

Who decided we need a dream career, a family, and a house by the age of 25? Most of the people I’ve met in their early, mid, and even late 20s don’t have all of that. I think that’s ok.

The Professional World

There’s no pressure, at least in our generation, to do those things. We have our whole lives to figure out exactly what we want. Your first job post-uni isn’t going to bring joy to your bank account or to your life (but if it does, congrats). You’re building your professional portfolio, from the very bottom. I get that it’s easy to assume that you’ll be on your way to getting a great job after uni, thinking “I’ve got a degree, I’m so employable”, but when you start your applications for a gazillion jobs, you quickly learn that’s not the case.

I’m not here to shut you down, or tell you to quit. Not at all. Just a little bit of perspective for you. Employers seek experience over achievement, and personality over accolades. So start writing about you and what makes you an ideal candidate.

You might even find it takes a few jobs to get to where you want to go. You might think one career path is the dream for you, then find out six months late that it makes you miserable. It’s all about trial and error.

It’s another thing then to ask yourself about the trade off of money and happiness when it comes to a job. Is anybody really happy at their workplace? Does anybody find a job they truly love? I’ve been asked this question by a few people recently, and I answer with “Yes, because I love my job.” I thought I’d be following my teenage dreams of working in the UN or EU, using my language skills in big negotiations… Now I’m in digital marketing and little Ellie wouldn’t have thought this! But I’m happy, and you can be too with a little work and a little play.

Relationships

Friendships, boyfriends, it’s all BS to me. Let’s be honest. Those of us who are continuously scrolling on Insta, TikTok or Pinterest will know the effects of comparison when it comes to these things. “Every girl has a boyfriend but me”. “Every one has a big friendship group but me”. It’s easy to feel trapped and to feel like you’re alone. Truth is? You hit your 20s and for some reason you lose a big chunk of your friends.

Why? Everybody is off doing their own thing. That’s good, right? Your old friends are chasing their dreams and finding what works for them. It’s great, if you ask me. Yes, you lose some people along the way, but remember that they are just doing what’s best for them. You should too.

Romantic relationships… where do I start? Those high-school sweethearts generally don’t make it to the ring-stage. Sorry, that’s the truth. You can flirt, play, and find your type. That’s why your 20s are for: exploration. There’ll be some shit experiences along the way with people whom you thought you’d be with forever. Keep in mind that they are probably just finding out what works for them too.

The relationships (both romantic and not) you have in your early 20s might shift as you get older. People can drift apart. Breakups can happen. It is not the end of the world, and people will come again.

You’re not alone, if that’s what you’re thinking. If you have one good friend, that’s enough. Big friendship groups are overrated. Keep your circle small, and grow with them.

---

Navigating your 20s can be hard, and I’m only at the start of it. All I’ll say is keep your head forward. Don’t check to see who’s behind you, or who’s coming to overtake you. Focus on your own path. It’s your life, take it one step at a time.