What does it truly mean to mature? Is it about age, experience, or something deeper? Maturity isn’t a destination—it’s a journey shaped by lessons learned, challenges faced, and the ways we grow through them. In a world that often equates “growing up” with letting go of our childlike wonder, perhaps maturing is less about changing who we are and more about becoming the best version of ourselves. Let’s dive into what it really means to embrace growth, wisdom, and authenticity.

At 21, I’m still figuring out what maturity really means. They say the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that handles decision-making, emotional regulation, and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until 25. Does that mean I’m not “fully mature” yet, and that I’ll reach the textbook level of “maturity” in 4 years’ time? Honestly, I think maturity is less about biology and more about how you navigate life. Sure, my brain is still developing, but every choice I make, mistake I learn from, and responsibility I take on feels like its own kind of growth. Maturity isn’t a switch—it’s a process.

Let me first of all say that I hope none of us actually “grow up”. We hear this from our elders when we’re kids: “Don’t you ever grow up”, and it’s only when we get to adulthood (although I don’t believe 18 is a true representation of that) that we start to understand what they mean. As kids, we can’t wait to be a “grown-up”, but that means different things at different points of childhood. If we think of the song from Matlida “When I Grow Up”, at primary-school age, it’s about eating sweets every day and watching TV all day long. Then we reach pre-teens and we want to be able to go to parties, go into town with our friends, and stay up late on social media. Then it’s about wanting to drive, go to clubs, go on holidays, and reaching this vague age of adulthood at 18. Truth is? When I was 18, I never felt like an adult. It was only when I entered the world of work that I started to feel a little bit older…

Over the last few years, I have realised that “maturing” isn’t about becoming cleverer, or better at quick-thinking, or bills, or anything else that might jump into your head as soon as I say “adulting”. What I’ve really learnt is the following:

Having Less Friends Is A Good Thing

Since leaving school and entering “adulthood” (even though university isn’t really “adulting”), my roster of friends has drastically decreased. From being in a pretty large friendship group, to now having no more than 10 friends, and somewhere between 2 and 5 close friends. It’s weird and at the start I didn’t like it, but you know what? I’d rather have a few friends that I meet up with maybe once a month (if that, because we are now all “adulting” and have jobs and stuff…), than have fake friends who I see too much and drain my social battery. Having friends that you can truly rely on and have a reciprocal relationship with is a whole lot better.

Friends evolve and sometimes people drift apart. Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. Maturity is accepting that as people grow, their paths may diverge. It’s about cherishing the memories and letting go with grace.

Knowing That You Are On The Right Path

“Maturing” to me is this idea that you know you picked the right path in life. Maybe not “picked” but working hard to achieve the things you have. And not feel guilty for doing so. I dropped out of uni, and dived into the world of social media and digital marketing without looking back – and I am so glad I did. “Maturing” is also learning to live in the present moment, instead of waiting and waiting for the next milestone – like 16 or 17 to drive a car, 18 to drink, 21 to drink in America and so on. These milestones are silly and will never bring you joy or satisfaction, so live for today.

Apologising Doesn’t Make You Weak

Recognising when you’re wrong and taking responsibility for it is a sign of emotional strength, not weakness. It shows humility, empathy, and a willingness to grow. Maturing means understanding that saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t diminish you—it builds trust and respect.

Not Everyone Will Understand Your Journey, and That’s Okay

As you grow, your priorities, dreams, and challenges will evolve. Not everyone will align with or comprehend your path, and that’s not a reflection of your worth. Maturity is accepting that your journey is uniquely yours.

Setting Boundaries Is a Form of Self-Respect

Maturity often comes with realising that you can’t please everyone. Setting boundaries protects your time, energy, and mental well-being. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary to maintain healthy relationships and self-respect.

You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself to Everyone

Maturity is about knowing when to share and when to keep things private. You don’t owe an explanation to everyone for your choices, especially when they’re made with your well-being in mind.

Happiness Isn’t Constant; It’s About Appreciating the Little Moments

Maturing means letting go of the idea that happiness is a permanent state. Instead, it’s found in fleeting, everyday moments—a kind word, a shared laugh, or a quiet evening.

You Can’t Control Everything, But You Can Control Your Reactions

Life is unpredictable, and maturity is learning to focus on what you can control—your mindset, actions, and how you respond to challenges. It’s the key to resilience.

Growth Is Uncomfortable but Necessary

True growth often comes from discomfort—stepping outside your comfort zone, facing fears, and embracing change. Maturing means leaning into these moments, knowing they lead to something better.

Saying “No” Is a Powerful Act of Self-Care

Learning to say “no” without guilt is a sign of maturity. It’s about prioritising your needs and understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Protecting your peace is invaluable.

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And really, even at the age of 21, I still act like a kid when I can – because I don’t want to grow up, and that’s ok! My advice is to embrace your child-like tendencies when you can. I still live in my parents’ house, so at home, I can be more reliable and “dependent”, as I find it a chore sometimes to be an adult at work when I just want to sit at home with my myriad of Jelly Cats and watch TV with my mum. And that’s ok! When I have to be an adult, you know, at work and around other adults, I do, and I believe I do it well. But at home? Who cares! Stay up late, eat all the sweets, watch cartoons until your eyes go square. Embrace those moments where you can fall back into your younger self, and never let that person go – that person shaped you into who you are today, so hold onto them.

And a short note on this idea of “dependency”, or “independence”. I’ll do a dedicated blog post on this soon, but I thought I’d add it in here too. As I said above, when I have to be independent I will, but when I’m with other people and they can do something for me I’ll happily take the load off myself. For example, I really don’t mind phoning people or talking to people in a supermarket if I can’t find the item I want, but if I’m with my sister or mum, I’ll let them do it, because why the hell not! I jet off around the world to visit my friends, book a solo trip, or drive across the country to see my friends at unis, because I can also do that. Sometimes I want to lean on someone, and be around a group of people, other times I want to do it on my own. Life is about balance, and I say this a lot, but it is definitely apt here. A life full of independence can frankly be pretty boring, and I ‘ve been there too. As long as you know when it is appropriate to be one or the other, you’ll be fine.