The Allure of a Perfect Life…

We all want it. This idea of a perfect life. What most of us don’t understand is what a perfect life means to us. One person’s idea will be completely different to the next person. And this is what we are going to explore today.

The temptation to chase appearances and success for purely validation is present in all our lives. The pressure from social media as well as societal expectations makes it increasingly hard to gather up evidence of what success and the perfect life means to us. We post our best moments on Instagram and Facebook, bragging to the world the things that we accomplish. It’s not for ourselves, though, it’s for our old school peers who weirdly still follow us, or our ex-partners and ex-best-friends. We all have this human condition to seek validation and approval for everyone but ourselves.

This is where the gap between looking good and actually feeling fulfilled creeps in. When we achieve something (whether small or big), our happy hormones grow, and so do the smiles on our faces. Then, that slowly wears off, when a new goal comes to mind. Or, better yet, we see someone else’s LinkedIn post showing off their amazing, higher-salary job and all the perks that come with it. The smile fades and we are back to square one. Maybe it’s time we change this.

The Downside of Focusing on Appearance

The need to obtain validation from our LinkedIn network, or people on social media we don’t even know can create a sense of emptiness, and furthering this need to get approval: a vicious cycle.

We chase and chase and chase and never stop to look back on how far we have come, and be excited for the next chapter (or the next 10 chapters) ahead of us. We moan and complain that we haven’t reached the next goal, and don’t stop to appreciate the one we just got to. This is the case for any field in life: work, fitness journeys, self-improvement, relationships, sports, and so on.

This pressure that we and only we put on ourselves burdens us with a giant emotional toll of living for approval rather than true happiness. Ok, but what is true happiness, you might ask? That’s something for a future blog post, so we’ll leave it there.

The purpose here is to show you to appreciate the small (and big) achievements along your journey, otherwise you’ll never be happy, and you’ll continue to seek this approval and post about your life, including all the white lies you feel you have to share with the world, and never truly succeed (in your eyes).

What It Means to Create a Life That Feels Good

Let’s stop right here. Stop doubting. Stop comparing. Stop trying so hard.

If you learn anything from this blog post it is this. Shift your focus from external success – from what looks good on social media – to internal fulfillment. Explore the values, the passions, and what brings genuine joy. Understand that peace and happiness come from within, not how good your life looks to others.

If you reach a small goal in your life, whether it’s in the professional sense, or along your fitness journey, or whatever, celebrate it. Don’t compare your day one to someone else’ day 100. Let’s say you’ve finally been able to complete a 5k run without stopping, and your time is, I don’t know, 35-minutes. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment – and let yourself feel it. Don’t jump to then post it on Strava or on your Insta Story, because if you head over to Strava, for example, you’ll see people running a 5k in under 20-minutes, and you’ll feel crushed. Stop and allow yourself to feel that sense of reaching your goal. Don’t jump to say “I’ll do it in under 30-minutes next time”. Baby steps, guys, baby steps.

Create a life that feels good to you, not one that looks good on paper. Sure, a CV goes a long way to get you a job interview, but ultimately the job interview, not your CV, is what lands you the job. Showing yourself off in all the colours of the rainbow. Speaking in a way that impresses the interview panel – and not just about your goals, but how you’d change the company, or what you can bring to the team, not just professional experiences.

Your achievements only matter to you, no one else. Stop craving this attention via social media. Stop pretending you have a better life than you do! These influencers who share all their holidays and PO box hauls only share one side of the story. Most of the time, the rest of their day consists of watching TV whilst editing dozens of posts for the upcoming weeks, battling with their managers to land a good brand deal, and the pressure to deliver high-quality content day after day. They don’t lead perfect lives, and their lives aren’t always what we see online. Photos aren’t time-stamped, so they could be sharing what looks like a great coffee date with their best friend, both looking unattainably attractive, from a year ago. Take what we see online with a pinch of salt. Always.

How to Align Your Life With What Feels Good

The first step toward creating a life that feels good is tuning into your true desires and needs, rather than what you think you should want. Start by asking yourself: What brings me joy? What makes me feel alive? This might look very different from what others expect of you, but that’s the point.

To align your life with what feels good, you have to be intentional. Here are a few ways to start:

• Say “no” to things that don’t serve you: It’s hard, but learning to say no to things, people, or opportunities that don’t bring you fulfillment is a key part of this process. It’s about making room for what truly matters.
• Set boundaries: Protect your energy and your time. Boundaries are essential for prioritising yourself and your well-being over the need to please others.
• Practice self-compassion: Creating a life that feels good requires you to be kind to yourself. Embrace where you are right now, flaws and all, instead of chasing perfection.
• Tune into your body and emotions: Pay attention to how things make you feel. If something feels off, it’s a sign that you may need to make changes. Follow what feels right, even if it doesn’t align with what’s expected.

By focusing on what makes you feel good internally, you’ll begin to shift away from external validation and instead, build a life that’s meaningful to you.

The Power of Letting Go of Perfection

Perfection is one of the biggest barriers to building a life that feels good. We often believe that if everything looks perfect — from our careers to our relationships to how we present ourselves — we’ll finally be happy. But the pursuit of perfection is exhausting and unattainable. Worse, it keeps us from being authentic.

Letting go of perfection means embracing the beauty of imperfection and realising that flaws are part of what makes us human. When you stop striving for an unrealistic ideal, you free yourself from the constant pressure to perform or appear perfect. Instead, you can focus on progress, growth, and the things that bring you real fulfillment.

Here’s how to start letting go of perfection:

• Embrace vulnerability: Show up as you are, even when it’s messy or uncomfortable. Vulnerability builds connection and helps you live more authentically.
• Accept that mistakes are part of the process: No one has it all figured out. Mistakes are not failures; they’re opportunities to learn and grow.
• Prioritise what truly matters: Perfectionism often distracts you from what’s important. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you can focus on the things that really bring you joy and purpose.

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In a world where everyone’s life seems picture-perfect on social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of chasing appearances. We get caught up in looking successful, happy, and put together, hoping that this will lead to real satisfaction. But what happens when your life looks amazing on the outside, yet you feel empty on the inside? The truth is, the more we focus on building a life that looks good, the further we move from creating one that actually feels good.

At the end of the day, the most important lesson is that true fulfillment doesn’t come from how your life looks on the outside — it comes from within. Building a life that feels good is about aligning your choices with what truly makes you happy, not what society tells you will make you successful.

When you let go of perfection, embrace authenticity, and start prioritising what feels right for you, that’s when you’ll begin to experience real happiness. It’s a journey, and it won’t always be easy, but the more you focus on creating a life that feels good to you, the more free and fulfilled you’ll become. Remember, it’s not about having it all; it’s about finding peace and joy in the life you’re living.