This society teaches us that the hustle-bustle culture is the norm – whether or not you’re in the corporate business world. We grind and grind, with little in return. What we don’t realise is that this is all complete bullshit – and I’m going to explain why.

We learn from a young age, especially as a woman, that time to ourselves is rare. We go to school, do homework; then go to uni, do homework; then get a job, get married, have kids. We are expected to then balance being a good wife, with a good job, with great kids, and we can’t prioritise anything else, like our own wellbeing.

This nod to slight sexism that still exists even in 2024 is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. Of course, it’s also true for men these days, who are more and more expected to also be a huge part in their kids’ life. Although I’m not at that stage yet, I can anticipate the toll it might have on some people, with more of an emphasis on those that haven’t taken the time in their earlier years to focus only on themselves.

That is why I’m here today, writing this. As an ode to you, but also an ode to my future self. Take the time for YOU.

There’s often a bit of confusion around this, though. Some people – no, a lot of people – on this journey believe that you can’t do both. You can’t start and execute a healing journey if you’re in a relationship, or if you’re a social butterfly, with lots of other things on your plate too. These people hide away from others, isolate themselves during the beginning of their journey. Trust me, I’ve been there, and although it is crucial to have some time to yourself (some real time), you don’t have to push people away.

It makes it worse, isolating yourself, during this time of need. You need this support from your loved ones, other wise it’ll be harder to fall back in love in the future, or to gain back trust from them. All you have to promise yourself is that you will put yourself first, no matter what.

And with your busy schedule… you don’t have to quit your job (although I’m guilty of this 🙋🏼‍♀️), start a life in the forest, and leave everything behind. You can do both. Again, align your priorities with how you are going to become a better version of yourself, how you are going to heal. If you’re in a toxic workplace environment, or in a toxic friend group, or even in a toxic relationship, that’s a sign to leave those places – but don’t leave for the sake of it.

The first step, but also the hardest step, of your healing journey is to ask yourself if all these aspects of your life align with who you want to become, and if they will help you get there. It’s ok if you don’t quite know the answer yet, but listen to your gut and your heart, and you will get some indication of who or what is serving you, and who and what isn’t.

You can do the hard things whilst keeping people in your life. It may feel even harder, as you then have to balance work, YOU and your relationships, but it’ll make the end goal much easier to reach.

Schedule in time for self-care every day, not just “when you can be arsed”. Have those slow mornings, take “productivity” out of the equation, and just be.