How have you been living your life? What boundaries do you have in place? How do you want to live your life?

These three questions are some that have been buzzing round my head recently. A lot of potential change has come up in different areas of my life, and it’s hard sometimes to keep the emotions at bay.

Something I have realised, though, amongst all this confusion and tumult, is that I haven’t stopped to ask myself “what do I want?“

When I did make this realisation, the world kind of stopped for a second. Then I was hit by a gazillion new emotions – mainly fear. I was completely overwhelmed, because this only led me to think more and more, and ask myself the “what ifs”. I’m sure this is something we can all relate to when we make a big realisation along our healing journey, or just simply in life.

We cannot – and should not – live our lives completely run by other people’s opinions, judgements, expectations and wishes. It is suffocating, and I want you to live a full and free life, away from external pressures. Easier said than done, right?

I believe that we continue along the path of listening to our loved ones’ advice (or our role models and superiors) and play along with the version of us that they want us to be. And to a point, it is also good to account for these people’s opinions, as it helps us make an informed decision – whatever the situation might be for you. Especially our loves ones, they are (usually) there to love and support us through these hardships. But, it is ultimately up to us to make the decision, however hard that might be.

It is our responsibility to learn to understand what other people might expect from us or expect us to do in a certain situation, but then it is up to us to use that knowledge to help build the life we want – in the complete opposite way.

How do you know this though? How do we know what life we want to live?

This is a hard one, as we a raised with so many conflicting expectations and rules, implemented by our society, friends, family, and even ourselves. It can be hard to let go of these pressures placed on us. But in order to grow we have to let go.

At the moment, I am battling between two choices. I have been leaning more towards the first one, because it’s the one that makes sense, plus it’s the one that my closest family members have encouraged me to follow. However, the second option is the one that saves me the most pain, in my opinion, and it’s the one that my soul needs right now. Either decision is a hard one – for me, I mean. And sometimes it’s not a case of making a pros and cons list (something that I do in fact adore), but instead listening to your gut.

If those other people in your life, the ones that told you to choose Option A, don’t support you through choosing Option B, then yes it will suck, but those people who are closest to you should support you in either situation. That’s what family is for. And if they know you well enough, and can read you… and just really know you, then they will understand your choice. Then, it’s not up to you to make them understand it – that’s something they have to do on their own.

So, if you are in a similar position as me right now, having to make a hard choice in whatever situation that might be, choose the one that aligns with your heart and soul. Take onboard those pieces of advice from your loved ones, but don’t settle with that decision until you work out what you want. From there, you can work together with your family and partners and friends, to make that the best decision for you – it is important to work together and not push them away here as you will need them when the time comes.

Go for it. Do it for yourself. Follow your dreams. Take a break if you need it. Do what makes you happy in that moment. Do what is going to benefit you now and in the future simultaneously. This may look different to other people’s wishes and life paths themselves, but who gives a f***?

This is your life. Live it the way YOU WANT.