It is difficult to show vulnerability and your true self to people after you have faced a negative situation which has involved that in the past. Maybe you let yourself fall in love once upon a time, letting that person completely in, trusting them, letting them see all your traits and flaws, only for them to walk straight back out of your life. And where does that leave you? Feeling used, betrayed, hopeless? Then you vow to yourself you won’t ever open up to someone again – friends, lovers, no one.

But then… someone else comes along, and you try so hard to fight the urge to run away, giving into the fear and anxiety. Slowly but surely you learn again that most people in the world are nice and generally want the best for you. It is hard (trust me, damn, do it I know it) but the value of learning this all over again is extraordinary.

You begin to understand that this new person in your life sees that your a little…rough around the edges (we’re not using words like ‘damaged’ or ‘broken’ – but I’m not sure what the best word is) – you’ve been through a lot – and they see how hard you are trying not to open up. Or maybe you’re like me and one day you do spill it all out and then you fear that they will leave you for being too open and honest. It’s difficult, but the benefits outweigh the fear – in my opinion. It is beautiful to see yourself learn more about yourself, and learn that being vulnerable is not a crime, nor will it drive others away

I believe we have all been in this kind of situation – to some extent – at some point in our lives. Maybe more than once. It’s sh*t how many of us have to deal with learning to be vulnerable again because of one person who stepped all over us. Building ourselves back up again after this gut-wrenching realisation that we allowed someone to walk all over us feels impossible to begin with, and it feels even more impossible when we start to let someone new into our lives – as we fear they will do the same.

My advice here is to dive in. If you’re heading into a new relationship, allow yourself to feel all of it. Of course, it’s going to be scary to let someone into your life, but you never know until you try, right?