Welcome to May!

This month I want you to focus on one thing, regardless of where you are in life right now. I encourage you to be mindful. What I mean by this is as follows:

1. Seek refuge in knowing you’re doing as well as you can right now.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life right now, but what I do know is that you’re doing just fine. If you’re going through something a little difficult, remember that you are strong and you will get through it. Now is the time to find gratitude in that, and to know that this is just a blip, you know? We all battle hardships in our lives, and you have done it before, so you will be just fine.

2. Enjoy the little things in life.

We often forget about just stopping still and noticing those little joys around us. Things like the sun is rising earlier and we have longer daylight hours. Or you’re walking down the street and see the cutest dog ever who is obviously still a tiny puppy. Or even that you had a really good night sleep last night. There’s more to add to this list, and that’s up to you. What are your favourite little moments in your daily life? Grabbing a coffee on the way to work? That stranger that always smiles at you on the bus? These things are worth noticing, as they lift you up when you’re feeling a little down.

3. Focus on today – not yesterday, not tomorrow. Today is all that matters.

I can’t say it enough – being present is at the core of your mindfulness journey. Whether you are stressing about tomorrow’s meeting, or what you didn’t say in your interview yesterday, it’s not today’s worry. Focus on what you are doing right now, and your to do list for today, not for the week. This way, we can overcome stress and anxiety, by focus on the present rather than worrying about all the things we haven’t or have yet to do.

Worrying will not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it will only take away today’s peace.

4. Set boundaries – for others and also yourself.

Setting boundaries is something I have shared a lot over the last few months, as it is a very valuable thing that I have learnt through therapy. Now that I have moved on from therapy, I think this is the perfect time to remind you how important this concept is.

I don’t just mean setting boundaries for other people, which I do go on about a lot [see post]. It’s a little easier to set these kind of boundaries. For example, if you’re going through ED recovery, and you tell your parents at the dinner table that you don’t want to talk about food whilst you’re eating as this triggers you (a very common example). Or, if you struggle a lot with social anxiety, and tell your friends that you may change your mind last minute and for them to give you space with that. These a little easier to do.

Setting boundaries for yourself is a little harder. These come in all shapes and sizes, but a common one is to do with work and stress. Maybe you are so overwhelmed at work and have so much to do, so you are working past 5pm to make sure it is all done, and you are not allowing time for self-care and time away from your emails and screen. This boundary comes into place like this: work your normal working hours (9-5pm, for example), and simply log off. The work will still be there tomorrow. Get as much as you can done in that time frame. Allow time for self-care! It’s so important! Or, a bit of a deeper one here, you are a huge party animal but also burnt out in terms of your social battery. Maybe you have FOMO too. I’ve been here – this was me at the start of the year, running away from my problems post break-up as I didn’t want to face them. I was partying every weekend, even in the middle of the week. I soon became burnt out and ended up feeling like I didn’t want to go and stay with my friends one weekend. Soon I learnt that I had to set boundaries for myself. So, I told myself that I would only go back to my friends at Uni, or visit my sister in Bath, once a month. And this really helped me focus on myself and working on my problems.

5. Practice non-judgement – again, for others and also yourself.

We life in a society that is inundated with judgement – in person and online. This month I want you to tap into those limiting beliefs and ask yourself why you are judging this particular person. It’s not a crime to judge someone – we all do it. But ask yourself why? Do the same for yourself too. From here, you can work out what your limiting beliefs are and work towards finding peace with them. For example, a limiting belief of mine was that I had to impress other people. As soon as I learnt that my life is my life to live, that belief kind of dissipated (over time, of course; nothing happens quite that quickly in this healing journey). I want you to find the same peace in your life.

6. Schedule one self-care day in EVERY WEEK.

Again, I cannot stress this enough. Find time for a ‘lazy’ day once a week. This could be a “rotting day”, as I like to call it: staying in your bed all of Sunday catching up on TV shows with a bowl of popcorn and switching off your phone. Or maybe you want a little bit of productivity, so have a day with cleaning your room (slowly and mindfully) and doing the washing, whilst watching TV. Digital detox days are also good here. Spend at least a day away from work, sport, whatever it is you find yourself always going back to. Just exist for one day a week.

7. Be proud of yourself.

Connecting to my first point, and the one below, tell yourself on the regular that you are proud of who you are and how far you have come. You might not yet believe you have come so far, but I assure you you have.

8. Celebrate the little wins, as well as the big ones.

We often miss those moments when we can celebrate those small achievements. A lot of us are all too focused on the big end goal. There’s nothing wrong with having these big goals, as these are potentially the career- and life-changing ones. But have little steps along the way to celebrate as little milestones. Then, the end goal seems far more reachable than it once was.

9. Practice gratitude.

Whether you journal or not, practicing gratitude everyday is a brilliant way to tap into your mindful mindset. Write it down, say it aloud or think it: 3 things you are grateful for today. You can either do this at the start of your day, or at the end of your day. Whichever works for you.

10. Remember your worth, and never settle for less.

I think this is my most important point today. I see too many people just settling because they think they don’t deserve more – in the workplace, in relationships, and in general life too. But let me tell you this: YOU ARE WORTHY OF EVERYTHING GOOD. YOU ARE DESERVING. YOU ARE STRONG. And most importantly YOU ARE CAPABLE.

I hope this post gives you a little bit of encouragement for the day and month ahead. Even though the first of this month has fallen in the middle of the week, we can still put certain goals and mindsets into action now to set us up for a brilliant month.