We all come across a stage in our lives when we feel alone, and when we actually are alone. A good example of this is when you move out of your home town, alone, to a new city, starting a new job. You can feel utterly alone and awkward in your own company.

The first lesson to learn here: this stage in our lives is vital for personal growth and strength.

What I mean is: you were meant to find this time in your life to prioritise yourself and figure out who you are and what you want in life. This stage isn’t going to last forever. Use this time wisely.

The second lesson: you’re not going to be alone forever.

The universe’s best way to teach you is through other people. They reflect you, your behaviour, how you react and what emotions you feel. No matter what, having people around you is the number one ticket to self-expansion. If you are alone for too long, the balance is thrown in the universe’s energy (if you believe in that – if you don’t, think of it as a balancing scale). Everything in life is about balance, even alone time versus social time. The universe wants you to be around people, as this is the best way to learn and grow.

Periods of isolation are a gift. These help you to find yourself and ground yourself. What we need to learn is that we shouldn’t resist it.

The third lesson: don’t resist it.

The best part about this time in your life is that you don’t have to think about anyone but yourself. How precious is that? We waste so much time thinking about other people and what they think of us. Isn’t this all so draining and exhausting?! This is why these periods of isolation are so good, because your brain gets decluttered of everything bar what’s important to you. This is your time to make a mark on the world, to find your purpose. It’s your time to take care of yourself, for yourself.

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However, being alone can be painful and, for some, like torture.

As humans, we seek validation constantly from everyone around us – even the barista you bump into at the cafe every day before work. Being around others is a sign of validation; having an abundance of people in your life gives you that addictive feeling of acceptance and validation. You feel as though you matter to people and that people care about you. So, it’s no wonder that now you’re alone, it hurts like a bullet.

The fourth lesson: you don’t have to ask for that validation and reassurance.

What matters now is that you get that acceptance from yourself. So many of us live our whole lives without fully knowing who we are, and some of us also grow to hate ourselves (including our bodies and how we look). We live in a state of fear that others don’t like us, when really what we fear is that we’re never going to like ourselves.

This is the period where you find the love in yourself, deep down. Bring it to the surface. It will hurt, and this journey is not easy and quick. It takes time, but it is crucial in order to live a fulfilled life.

The fifth lesson: use this time to find out what YOU like to do and why.

Often we do things because we think that’s what we’re supposed to do, or it’s ‘trendy’, or that everyone else is doing it. For example, following fashion trends, going to university or moving out before we’re 25.

This is the time to learn what hobbies you love to do, and what they do for you. Whether that’s a sport, because it gives you a sense of achievement and physical endurance, or a creative hobby like writing, because it helps you get out your feelings in an artistic way. Whatever it is, do it. Dig deep down to find that one dream you’ve been wanting to do – open a new business, try something new. Just do it. You’ll never know until you do it. So, get out there out of your comfort zone and try something new.

The sixth lesson: get out of your comfort zone and try something new.

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The conclusion

Use this opportunity to create a life for yourself that you enjoy, under no pressure from anyone else. A life that you can eventually incorporate others into. It gets hard again when your time is up and you have to move back into the real world of socialising. Just know that you have just gone through something incredibly hard already and that you’re stronger than you think.

Final lesson: you’re stronger than you think.