Thursday 6 July

We exert too much energy on trying to be perfect. Trying to live up to other people’s standards, or our own high expectations. Trying to be someone we’re not.

Who do you know – who do you really know – that is perfect? Your answer should be no one, although we might picture one of our friends who always gets straights As, never misses class, and is an all-rounder at sports, academics and social life. I’m sure we can all picture someone like this.

I’m here to tell you today that this is fake. Everyone has their own insecurities and imperfections. Everyone slips sometimes. We are not supposed to be perfect. Our little imperfections help make us who we are.

If we were perfect, we’d have nothing to learn from. Mistakes are only lessons that aid us in our growth (and we grow every second of every day, no matter how old we are). So, if you think you’ve made a huge mistake or the wrong decision recently, change your mindset around it. Instead of that negative self-talk and putting yourself down, try to think about how you have learnt from that particular situation and what you would do differently last time. You can’t change what has happened, so why dwell on it?

Here’s a tip for not dwelling on past mistakes: if something won’t matter in five years’ time, don’t waste more than five minutes obsessing over it. This is the 5-by-5 rule and I am sure you’ve heard of it before, but have you actually put it to practice?

A final note. I want to say again that nobody is perfect. Those people who you idolise have their flaws. We all have bad days, too. I’ve heard others say, “what do you have to be sad about? you’re perfect/you have a perfect life” to people who they deem as ‘perfect’. Just because someone seems to ‘have it all’, especially online through a Highlights Reel, doesn’t mean they do. Online we only see a snapshot of someone’s life. Whilst posting those flawless pictures and beautiful holidays, that person could be lying in bed, having an awful day. It doesn’t matter if someone has all the money in the world, a ‘perfect family’ or whatnot. Everybody falls down sometimes. That’s completely normal, because we’re not supposed to be perfect.

So next time you think about someone saying (maybe) that they have ‘no right to be sad’, think again. We all can be sad, about a myriad of things. Some suffer more than others, but at the end of the day we all suffer, so have some leniency for those having bad days or who are acting out on you. They’re probably going through it right now, so give them some time and space.

Pepetoe x