Sunday 2 July

Next week I turn 20. As someone with a summer birthday, all my other friends are already 20, turning 21 later this year. So, I feel like it’s been a long time coming.

Even though 20 isn’t a big number compared to a 16th, 18th or 21st birthday, it’s still a milestone in terms of moving out of the teen years. However, being at uni has shown me that everyone there is pretty much the same age, and that since I’ve been at uni, I kind of already feel 20 years old.

We all face heaps of tumultuous times during the teenage portion of our lives. But here’s a reminder to those who are still going through it: it’s just a portion of our lives. A blink. And it’s not all bad – there are good times too – though as humans we like to grab hold of the more difficult times and use them to define who we are.

During these years, we face heartbreak (in relationships and friendships), identity crises, stress of exams and what we want to do after school, family drama, mean girls, mental health issues and many more. Some have it harder than others, but the bottomline is that we all suffer during our teenagehood.

I wish someone had told me, at age 13 before any of this happened, that it’s normal to feel lost, scared and confused. We go through so many changes and losses. We gain friends, we lose them. We excel at school, we burn out. We fall in love, we break up. We discover who we are, we feel lost. It’s a crazy, mind-boggling time.

It is nonsense to say that all that ends when you hit a certain age. We are still going to go through all these hardships as we continue to grow, and even after that. I can’t say I know for sure, as I am only young, but it does get easier. With every battle we face, we gain an ounce of strength. We gather more and more resilience and tenacity to push through the next one and the next. We learn from our past mistakes and find ways to cope. Truthfully, as I have said before, there are no mistakes, only lessons we use to continue growing and evolving into a better version of ourselves.

Like everyone else, I have suffered great losses over the last 6 or so years. From my first heartbreak to losing a family member, from not knowing who I am to obtaining an eating disorder. There’s not a single ‘worst’ thing that has occurred over the years, rather the mix of it all has made it so much more challenging to keep coming back stronger. But here I am, telling you this today, that it does get easier.

I am excited to see where the next decade of my life leads me. A new job, a second chance, and change that comes from not continuing with uni. It’s scary, possibly the scariest thing I’ve ever faced, but it’s exciting. So, as I think over what the last few years have meant to me, I encourage you to do the same, no matter how old you are. Think about what has changed in your life – are your friends still the same? have you moved out, changed job? Consider what you have gained and what you have lost, and how that has made you a better person with more strength and power to continue into the next chapter of your life.

Pepetoe x