Thursday 1 June

Last year, I posted “19 things I’ve learned in 19 years”. With my life having changed a lot over the past year, I think it’s time to add to that list. So, here’s 20 new (or not so new) things that I’ve learned in almost 20 years of my time here.

1. Your body is the least interesting/important about you.
   -> When Kate Moss said “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, she was definitely wrong. A lot tastes better than skinny.
2. If someone is not happy for your achievements, they’re not your friend
   -> Friends are supposed to be loyal and support you with everything you do and choose to do
3. Our “diet” isn’t just about what we eat. It’s about what we consume: the media, tips, advice, friendships
   -> Keep an eye on what you consume in terms of social media. Block or remove those accounts that trigger you in any way and only follow those you inspire you.
   -> Be mindful of who you spend time with. Sometimes people we think are our “friends” are only a negative presence in our life. It’s ok to “unfriend” them in real life!
4. Put yourself out of your comfort zone because you never know what this will attract and how your life will change
   -> As we all know from reading Pepetoe, since putting myself out of my comfort zone a year ago, so much goodness has come to me. I wouldn’t be here today without having done that.
5. Not everyone will like you, and that’s ok.
   -> You don’t have to be friends with everyone. You won’t click with certain people. That’s ok.
6. Don’t feel like you have to change to fit in with a certain group of people
   -> If they were good people, you wouldn’t have to change
   -> Friends should accept you for who you are
7. Carbs don’t make you gain weight. Facts.
8. Make every moment count
   -> Cherish the time with your loved ones and tell them how much you appreciate them
   -> It’s sad to think about but you’re not always going to have those people in your life that you do now. Hold onto them while they’re here. I’m not only talking about family members, but also friends. Friends come and go a lot in your life
9. 5×5 rule: if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it
10. There are no mistakes in life, just lessons
    -> There is no such thing as “failure”, just lessons
11. Hardships only make us stronger
12. Being skinny isn’t everything
13. Sometimes things change that’s ok. It doesn’t mean your whole life has flipped sideways. It just means that there is something new on the horizon
    -> Take me as an example. I’m taking a year out of university to work on myself. A lot is going to change but that’s ok, because. I know that new things will also come my way
    -> Change is good, it brings new things with it
14. Prioritise yourself and your feelings, but remember that your friends and family are going through something too. Everybody hurts
15. Just say yes.
    -> Say yes to as many experiences and opportunities as you can. You’re only young once and so make the most out of it.
16. Time doesn’t stand still. Time doesn’t wait for you.
    -> If you want something, go out there and get it. The world won’t wait for you
17. Be kind, gentle and patient to yourself always
    -> When you say bad things about yourself, ask yourself “would I say this to my younger self?” No, you wouldn’t say to her “oh you have big thighs or you’re not clever enough.” Your inner child is still there; when you say bad things about your present self, you’re also saying those things to her.
18. You’re always good enough. Don’t settle for less
19. Sometimes you need to let go of people in your life in order to grow yourself, even if you love them.
20. A grade doesn’t define you. A number on the scales doesn’t define you. Trauma and past experiences do not define you.
    -> What does define you is who you are, what you care about and what you identify with

And some bonus tips:

1. Nobody knows what they’re doing in their twenties. It’s a part of growing up
2. Sometimes all we need is to hang onto that hope and faith
3. It always gets better.
4. Sometimes, you do have to be selfish – it’s not selfish to prioritise yourself
5. Being in a relationship isn’t the goal.
6. Comparison is the thief of joy
7. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Relieve that stress and pressure
8. Be silly, have fun, let yourself be wild. You’re young. Hold onto that.