A blog post by Pepetoe.

High achievement is often celebrated. Discipline, productivity, ambition. These qualities are praised in schools, workplaces, and sport.

But those same traits can create fertile ground for eating disorders.

Perfectionism, control, and self-criticism are not inherently harmful. Yet when they become extreme, they can attach themselves to food, weight, and exercise in ways that are difficult to recognise. Especially as a way to regain control that has been lost, for example in the COVID-19 pandemic, where we saw a 15.3% increase in eating disord

When Strength Becomes Vulnerability

Perfectionism, control, and self-discipline are not inherently harmful. In fact, they can be incredibly useful. They help people train consistently, meet deadlines, build businesses, perform academically, and pursue ambitious goals.

The issue arises when those traits become extreme.

When discipline becomes rigidity.
When ambition becomes self-punishment.
When high standards become impossible standards.

In those moments, food, weight, and exercise can become the next arena for achievement.

Especially during periods of uncertainty.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, for example, studies reported a large increase in eating disorder cases. Life felt unpredictable. Routines were disrupted. Control was taken away in countless ways.

For many high achievers, food and exercise became something tangible to control when everything else felt unstable.

Control, even when destructive, can feel safer than chaos.

How My Eating Disorder Disguised Itself as Motivation

In my own experience, the eating disorder did not appear dramatic at first. It did not announce itself as something dangerous.

It hid behind what looked like self-improvement.

It blended seamlessly into:

• “Clean eating”
• Strict routines
• Pushing through exhaustion
• Relentless self-improvement
• Never feeling good enough
• Fear of failure

From the outside, it looked admirable. It looked disciplined. Focused. Healthy. Internally, it was exhausting.

There was always another standard to reach. Another way to optimise. Another way to become “better.” And better often meant stricter. Smaller. More controlled.

What once looked like a healthier diet and a more structured workout routine slowly became something darker. The rules tightened. Flexibility disappeared. Rest felt unacceptable.

And because I was still achieving, still performing, no one questioned it.

The Link Between Perfectionism and Eating Disorders

Research consistently shows a strong connection between perfectionism and disordered eating.

High achievers often:

• Tie their self-worth to performance
• Struggle with black-and-white thinking (“all or nothing”)
• Fear failure intensely
• Set unrealistic or ever-moving standards
• Experience harsh self-criticism

When that mindset is applied to the body, it becomes dangerous.

Food becomes measurable.
Weight becomes trackable.
Exercise becomes quantifiable.

There is a scoreboard. And for a high achiever, that scoreboard can become addictive. The problem is that there is no finish line. The goalposts keep moving. The number is never low enough. The routine is never strict enough. The performance is never perfect enough. What starts as control can quickly become compulsion.

The High-Achiever Brain and the Eating Disorder Voice

Eating disorders tap directly into the high-achieving part of the brain.

The voice that says:

• Keep going
• Work harder
• Do more
• Be better

That voice, in other areas of life, might lead to academic success or career progression. In the context of an eating disorder, it becomes relentless.

You push through hunger because discipline feels admirable.
You override exhaustion because rest feels weak.
You exceed expectations because mediocrity feels like failure.

It is not a lack of willpower. If anything, it is too much willpower directed at the wrong target. And eventually, it becomes unsustainable. You end up exhausted. Physically depleted. Mentally stuck in a darker place than where you began. It is not your fault. This is what the disorder does. It hijacks strengths and turns them against you.

A Necessary Clarification

It is important to say this clearly: healthy eating and exercise are not eating disorders.

Structure is not automatically pathology.
Ambition is not automatically illness.
Working out more than usual does not mean you have a disorder.

I am not here to diagnose anyone.

Routine can be grounding. Discipline can be empowering. For many people, structured exercise and mindful eating genuinely improve wellbeing.

But for some of us, particularly those with high-achieving, perfectionistic tendencies, those same behaviours can gradually shift from healthy to harmful.

The difference often lies in flexibility.

• Can you rest without panic?
• Can you eat spontaneously without guilt?
• Can you adjust your routine without distress?
• Can your self-worth exist independently of performance?

When flexibility disappears, that is often where the risk begins.

Why High Achievers Are Often Missed

One of the most dangerous aspects of eating disorders in high achievers is how easily they are overlooked. Because high achievers continue functioning, their struggles can remain hidden.

They are still:

• Attending school
• Meeting deadlines
• Training hard
• Competing
• Working long hours
• Showing up

From the outside, everything looks productive. But functioning does not equal thriving.

A student can be top of their class and still be deeply unwell.
An athlete can perform well and still be physically compromised.
A professional can exceed targets and still be mentally deteriorating.

High performance can mask high distress. Eating disorders in high achievers often remain undetected until physical health declines significantly or psychological strain becomes overwhelming.

Earlier recognition requires looking beyond output and asking deeper questions:

• How are you actually coping?
• Are you resting?
• Are you enjoying this?
• Are you okay?

The Cultural Reinforcement of Overachievement

There is also a wider cultural context.

We live in a society that rewards:

• Hustle culture
• Grind mentality
• “No days off”
• Productivity as identity

In that environment, restrictive eating and excessive exercise can blend in disturbingly well.

They can be framed as “wellness.”
As “biohacking.”
As “optimising performance.”

For someone already wired to achieve, that messaging can reinforce harmful patterns rather than challenge them. When exhaustion is normalised and overtraining is glorified, it becomes harder to recognise when discipline has tipped into self-destruction.

Recovery as a High Achiever

Recovery for high achievers can feel uniquely confronting.

Because it requires:

• Letting go of rigid control
• Accepting imperfection
• Prioritising rest
• Redefining worth beyond performance

That can feel like failure at first. Slowing down can feel wrong. Eating more can feel like losing discipline. Resting can feel unproductive. But true strength is not constant self-denial. True resilience includes flexibility.

Recovery does not mean losing your ambition. It means untangling it from self-punishment.

If You See Yourself in This

If you are a high achiever and struggling with food, exercise, or body image, please know:

You are not weak.
You are not dramatic.
You are not broken.

You may simply be someone whose strengths have been redirected in harmful ways.

Ambition is not the enemy.
Discipline is not the enemy.
You are not the enemy.

But when self-worth becomes entirely dependent on performance, including physical performance, it can become a trap. And you deserve a life that is more than constant optimisation. You deserve one that includes rest. Joy. Flexibility. And peace.

Even if you are still achieving.

Xo Pepetoe