A blog post by Pepetoe.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week isn’t about pastel infographics and awareness hashtags. It’s about the things we don’t say out loud.

It’s about the girls (and boys, and adults) who are smiling in photos while counting every calorie in their heads. It’s about the high achievers who look “disciplined” but are actually drowning. It’s about the ones who don’t “look sick enough” to be noticed.

When I was struggling, I didn’t think awareness weeks applied to me. I thought they were for the “serious cases.” The hospitalised ones. The ones who were visibly unwell.

Not the girl who still went to school.
Not the girl who still got good grades.
Not the girl who “just cared about being healthy.”

Eating disorders thrive in silence and comparison.
They whisper: You’re not that bad. You’re fine. You’re in control.

Awareness Week matters because it interrupts that silence.

It reminds people:

• You don’t have to hit rock bottom to deserve help
• Eating disorders aren’t a “phase”
• Recovery is possible, even if it feels impossible

If even one person reads something this week and thinks, “Oh. That’s me,” then it matters.

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This year’s theme is all about community, and that’s exactly what got me through my ED. I don’t mean that toxic community online where people (and still to this day) share their “what I eat in a day” videos or their strict workout regime or how long they’ve gone without eating. Those people never helped me. I’m talking about the real-life community I found myself in: my friends, my neighbours, my family, my loved ones. That’s the community that really helped me through all this.

Now, not everyone will understand what you are going through, in fact, most people won’t. But those people that stay and offer their help regardless? They are the people who you want in your life. Not the people that shy away when they hear the word “anorexia” (or any ED for that matter), but those that genuinely want to help you get better.

I am not saying that people can’t find their community on social media. Since I started recovery, there are a couple accounts that I’ve followed who have really helped shine a light on my darkest days. People like @RoMitchell and @EmilyJaneFairs. These two girls in particular showed me that there is a way out, and that it does get better. And I am forever thankful for those pages. But, as I said, there are a lot of toxic ones, and if you remember last year when I participated in a project with BEAT to produce social media content to help those consuming ED-recovery posts, and to those also creating them, there are ways we can share our stories and still follow some kind of guidelines to keep everyone healthy and not following a toxic route.

As someone who shares her own journey with anorexia and recovery, I sometimes find it hard to put exactly what I want out there, because I know all too well the harmful effects that certain content can have, like before-and-after pictures, fear food diaries, etc. And I also know that everyone is different and everyone wants to see different types of content, i.e., some people might find watching videos of people conquering their fear foods helpful, which I do not. So, when it comes to writing blog posts like this, I do find it tricky, and I find myself going back to the content I made for BEAT last year to help me really think about if my content is going to be helpful or harmful. And I hope that it is helpful to you guys!

So, this year, I will still be sharing some posts around EDs and recovery and my own journey because the feedback I get from you guys is mostly positive. But here’s your reminder that you don’t have to read every single post. If you find it too much, too triggering, or just not helpful to you, please move on from it, I won’t get annoyed(!!). Because I know how it can get.

For those without EDs and who want to know just a little bit more about them and/or my journey, you are very welcome here and I am so grateful we have people like you in the world who want to learn more and spread awareness and genuinely help other people along their recovery journeys.

Here’s to another Eating Disorder Awareness Week!

Xo, Pepetoe