A blog by Pepetoe.

There’s something about the end of the year that forces you to hold up a mirror to your life. Not in a soft, Pinterest-aesthetic way, but in a raw, “holy shit what happened this year?” kind of way. And trust me, if January 2025 me could look at me know, she would hand on heart say “what the f***?!”.

For me, 2025 hasn’t exactly been a pretty little montage. It’s been intense. Messy. Transformative. Exposing. A year that pulled things out of you that you didn’t even know were there. I’ve been through not one, but two breakups. I’ve quit my job, then landed another huge one (I even work in London now, when did that happen?!). I’ve had relapses, but also challenged that voice inside me. I’ve had countless breakdowns, but even more great memories. I’ve had highs, lows, and everything in between.

But here’s the thing, I made it. We’ve all made it. Through another treacherous year. Instead of looking back and thinking about all the shit we’ve been through, today I want us to look back and almost think about this year in a manner of pride. We’ve survived it, and that’s something to be proud of, no matter how shit it has been.

And now we get the gift of one last month, one final chapter, to decide who we’re becoming next. This is your sign to enter your main character era. And for all the non Gen-Zers reading this, a “main character era” is how it sounds: a period of living with confidence, self-worth, and purpose, viewing oneself as the protagonist of one’s own life story. This era is about taking control of your narrative, making intentional choices, and romanticising everyday life to feel like a main character in a movie. It’s a mindset shift to be self-assured and live authentically, often with a focus on personal growth and experiences. 

For the sake of this blog post, I’m not talking about it in a cliché, romanticised sense. Not in the “take cute photos and pretend everything is polished” way. But in the real way. The way that asks “who do I want to be when the clock hits midnight on December 31st?”. What tiny brave choices can you make right now that will bring you closer to her? How can you ensure that 2026 is an unforgettable year (in a good way)? I know we can’t plan for disasters or anything, but we can plan for how we are going to deal with them. Let’s explore it.

This Month Is Not About Perfection, It’s About Permission

The end of the year has a way of making you feel like you should have everything figured out. Suddenly you’re reflecting on the goals you didn’t hit, the things you didn’t fix, the parts of yourself you thought would be “sorted” by now. The truth is, most of us move through the year doing the best we can with the emotional, financial, and mental resources we have at the time. This last month isn’t a test. It isn’t a deadline. It’s simply an opportunity, and a chance to give yourself permission to choose what matters to you, not what looks good on paper.

Permission looks different for everyone. For some, it’s admitting that they’re burnt out and slowing down. For others, it’s allowing themselves to try again after a setback. And for many, it’s recognising where they have been playing small and finally choosing to expand. When I talk about “entering your main character era,” I’m not talking about pretending you’re living a movie montage. I mean allowing yourself to take ownership of your decisions, your boundaries, your healing and the direction you want your life to move in. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to show up for yourself more honestly than you did yesterday.

Reclaiming Your Confidence Starts With Showing Up

Confidence isn’t something that appears overnight or because you wake up one morning and decide you’re a new person. It grows slowly, usually in moments no one else sees. It’s built every time you honour a boundary, speak up when you’d normally stay quiet, or follow through on something you promised yourself even when you’re tired, scared, or unsure. These small actions teach your brain, “I can trust myself.” And trust is the foundation of real confidence in yourself.

Showing up for yourself doesn’t have to be a massive, dramatic shift. It can be deciding not to reply to a message that triggers you. It can be choosing a peaceful night in when your body is begging for rest, even if you feel guilty about cancelling plans. It might even be doing something kind for yourself on a day when you feel undeserving. These are the moments that matter. They’re the ones that build resilience and self-belief over time.

And yes, some days you won’t have much to give. That doesn’t undo your progress. Showing up also means being willing to sit with yourself on the days you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or lost. It means acknowledging the discomfort instead of running from it. That’s confidence too. The quiet kind most people overlook.

Do It For Yourself, Not Anyone Else

So many of us live according to the expectations of others without even realising it. We make decisions based on how they will be perceived, how they will affect someone else, or how they will maintain a certain narrative about our lives. But at some point, you have to ask: if I wasn’t worried about disappointing anyone, what would I actually choose for myself?

Doing things for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. It’s how you rebuild a sense of identity after a year that might have left you feeling fragmented or unsure. It’s how you take back emotional energy from people who drained it, intentionally or not. And it’s how you learn to separate your self-worth from someone else’s opinion of you.

In practical terms, this could look like starting a new hobby without worrying if you’ll be good at it. It could be ending a friendship that has consistently left you feeling small. It could be taking a break from dating so you can hear your own voice again. Or it might be choosing something as simple as rest without needing to justify it.

The goal here isn’t to build a version of yourself that impresses people. It’s to build a version of yourself you actually like being.

You Are The Author Of Your Story, Not The Side Character

It’s easy to fall into the habit of feeling like life is happening to you, especially when the year has been full of unexpected endings, disappointments, or emotional chaos. But one of the most empowering shifts you can make is recognising that you still have agency, even in the mess. You are allowed to take ownership of your story, even if certain chapters were written without your permission.

Being the “main character” doesn’t mean everything goes your way. It means you stop abandoning yourself. You stop letting other people’s behaviour define your self-worth. You stop dimming your personality to keep the peace. You stop allowing situations to unfold around you without acknowledging your right to respond, change direction, or opt out entirely.

Entering your main character era is about responsibility, not aesthetics. It’s about accepting that you control how you move forward, even if you couldn’t control what knocked you down. It’s about deciding who you want to be at the start of 2026 and using this final month not to rush, not to fix everything, but to intentionally take the first steps toward her.

Because you don’t become the main character by accident. You become her by choosing yourself, consistently, quietly, and unapologetically, one decision at a time.

Xo Pepetoe