A blog post by Pepetoe.

Upon waking up this morning I received some crazy news. News I’ve been waiting to land in my inbox for two years. I was stood on the train platform, readying up for my journey to London Paddington, the 2.5 hour commute I do twice a week for my big girl job in the city, when I saw the email come through:

“Dear Dr. Overfield,

A manuscript titled Case study for public engagement: Creating the HILD podcasts has been submitted by Dr. Christopher Strelluf to International Journal of the Sociology of Language.”

I didn’t think it was possible to cry at 5:15 in the morning, but I did. I let those tears fall down my face, without a care in the world if I looked silly or not stepping onto the train. I let myself feel this incredible feeling of joy, passion, and gratitude.

(Before I go on, I do want to make clear that I’m not a “Dr” – this is obviously a mistake but I’m not angry about it!)

This one is for the girl who thought she wouldn’t make it past the age of 21. For the girl who was scared to make big decisions. For the girl who didn’t know, or like, who she was. For me.

If you’ve been on this journey with me over the last five years, you’ll know a lot has happened over this time. And you’ll be fine tuned to the fact that after my second year of university, I made the tough call to leave and pursue my dream of a career in social media and digital marketing. University life for me dealt me some of the biggest pain I’ve experienced in my life. Struggling with an eating disorder during my time at Warwick, in hindsight, meant it was virtually impossible for me to go through the entire 4-year programme and achieve something at the end of it. I know, there’s so many others who do manage to do this, but I could not.

However, throughout my short-lived time there, I was fortunate enough to participate in a project that to this day I still have so much gratitude for. One of my Applied Linguistics tutors gave me the opportunity to collaborate with him on a podcast project, aimed at public engagement in research and education, namely linguistics, sociology and culture. I helped him draft interview questions with participants in this podcast series – with lecturers in Modern Language and Linguistics from all over the world – and spent hours between studies editing and adapting the transcripts and audio files to create a truly beautiful podcast. This wasn’t long after I started The Pepetoe Podcast (or, back then, This is Just the Beginning), so you can understand the excitement and pure joy I had whilst completing this project.

After I had left university, about eight months later, I get an email from this tutor, asking if I wanted to co-author an article in the Journal of Sociology. Did I say yes? Of course, I bloody did, without hestitation! So, again, I got to work drafting a 3,000 word document about our experiences, challenges, and desire to disseminate research findings in an accessible and engaging format. Now it’s around 2.5 years later and I’m receiving this email and it’s bringing back all those emotions from that time.

I think the reason as to why I’m feeling so grateful is because I’ve learnt that you can still pursue your dreams and achieve so much without following the traditional path. I’m published in a world-renown Journal, and all I have is a Diploma. I don’t have a Bachelor’s, Master’s or a PHD (so I’m not a Dr, but we’ll let this slide just this one time…). I’m simply a girl who had to get out of her old life, and start from scratch. To rebuild. And I’m so grateful I did.

I have come so far since who I was at university. I’ve been in recovery for three years. I’ve been making my way up in my career, now working for a huge company in London, of all places. I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve been really happy. I’ve been really sad. It has truly been a rollercoaster since 2022, when I first started working on this podcast project.

This turmoil has shaped me into who I am today, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful that I’ve had to go through all these things to get me to this place right now. It’s been hard, of course it has, but I look back and think just how strong I am to have been able to work through each and every one of the tribulations I’ve faced. And, you know I am one for a quote, so, as Phoebe Bridgers would say, just know it’s for the better.

Every single thing you go through makes you better, stronger, smarter, more determined. So, don’t you dare say you are not good enough, not brave enough. You have already come so damn far. What’s one more hitch on your path?

I’m in a place right now where things are delicate, and some days I’m still struggling, with new and old pains in my chest. But days like this, where I remember how strong I am, makes me feel alive. It makes me thankful for who I am. It makes me remember that one slip up, one mistake, does not make you who you are.

What I want you to take from this post is that whether or not you’ve been published in a world-famous Journal, you are good enough no matter what. Take your small and big wins, your accomplishments, your hopes, your dreams, and tell yourself how good you already are. Take this hardship that you’re going through right now as not a step backward, but a step in a different direction. You are strong, brave, and capable and deserving of so much more.