A blog post by Pepetoe.

It feels like a while since I’ve shared a proper update, so I thought I’d sit down and write about where life and work have taken me lately. From unexpected twists to exciting new opportunities, the past few months have been a mix of challenges, growth, and a whole lot of learning. Sometimes it’s only when we pause to reflect that we realise just how much has shifted, both in our personal lives and in our careers. So here’s a little behind-the-scenes look at what’s been happening, what I’ve learned along the way, and where I’m heading next.

Life Lately: The Personal Side of Things

A lot has been going on over the summer months, and now, heading into the “-ber” months, I’m reminding myself daily to keep my head up and keep moving forward. Like most seasons of life, it’s been a mix of highs and lows. There have been moments of joy, progress, and excitement, but also moments of challenge and heaviness… because, let’s be honest, life isn’t always a smooth or easy road.

For me, recovery adds another layer to this. Living with and healing from an eating disorder means that change often feels more intense than it might for others. New routines, new pressures, and new responsibilities can stir up old patterns or spark the urge to fall back into unhealthy habits. It’s almost like my mind tries to trick me into finding control in ways I know aren’t helpful anymore.

But despite the pull of those old voices, I’m proud to say I’ve managed to keep my head above water. It hasn’t been perfect (recovery rarely is) but it’s been steady, and that’s what matters. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to give myself grace when things feel heavy, and to celebrate the small wins along the way. Every day I choose to keep going is a reminder that progress doesn’t have to be fast to be real!

Career Updates: Stepping Into New Opportunities

Furthering on from this, with the big change to a whole different job in a different industry (telco says hi!), my recovery has kind of switched to the other way rather than bringing me down. This new role has given me lots of new and exciting opportunities: the ability to network with like-minded people, build stronger relationships with our platform suppliers, and a chance for me to pat myself on the back and say “well done”.

As you may know, I’ve not had the easiest road when it comes to my career so far. From roles that didn’t suit me, and places where I couldn’t progress, to managers who didn’t see eye-to-eye. It’s been a rather frustrating journey to where I am today – especially as a person who doesn’t see failure as an option. From making the decision to leave university well over two years ago, to having to make even harder decisions to leave not one but two jobs along the way, I’m happy to say I’ve landed in a work place which really supports me, helps me grown, and ultimately gives me the praise I’ve earned.

As I said, it has been difficult, after being pushed down again and again by various employers, and the feeling of “never being good enough” floating around my head. Now, though, I’m flourishing in this new environment, and I couldn’t be happier! Sure, it’s stressful, as working in telco means new product launches here, there and everywhere, and with the new Apple iPhone announcement yesterday, and with Black Friday just around the corner, life is feeling a little bit chaotic. But we love it, and we keep going!

What’s Been Keeping Me Grounded

There’s been lots of challenges along the way. From recovery, to imposter syndrome and people pleasing, my mind rarely gives me a break. It’s like a have to be “go go go” all the time. But with these recent changes in my life, I’ve learnt to let that go, and just focus on being me, and doing the work I’m given – nothing more, nothing less. This mindset of simplicity has allowed me to fill my time with things I enjoy, rather than just work and chase this yearning for total productivity all the time. I’ve been able to keep myself grounded.

I’ve started writing again, I’m playing hockey again, I’ve freed up some time to… be me! And it’s fun, and exciting, and like I have a whole new road ahead of me. My eating disorder took that away from me, and pushed me to “be my best self”, even if that meant sacrificing everything in my life I enjoy. I’d swap the burning desire to be a size 0 to actually enjoying my life ANY DAY. And that’s something I never thought I’d say… ever.

I’m reminding myself that life is supposed to be fun. You should work in a job that you like. You should be in a friendship circle that you like. You should do all things that you like. Anything else? Bin it, throw it away. You need to do things FOR YOU and things that YOU ENJOY. Nothing else. Sure, I get that you sometimes don’t enjoy work every day, or you fall out with friends, or don’t have time to enjoy your hobbies, but all in all, the life you want to live is the life you wake up excited for.

Looking Ahead: What’s Next for Me

The next few weeks are looking busy, but now as we’re deep into September and gearing up for the colder months, it’s a sign to slow down. I’m going back to the basics: nutrition, hydration and sleep. Everything else is kind of a second priority for me going forward. Work and a social life is important, yes, but I’m letting the essentials bring me back to a more “natural” self.

My boyfriend is also leaving for an eight month work contract abroad, so, in the best way possible (I’m not sure how else to word this!), it’s another sign for me to focus on myself, and get a routine back together. The summer has been a whirlwind, and a busy one for sure, but I’m looking forward to hitting pause, and coming back to myself.

Don’t worry, Pepetoe will also be a big focus going forward!

A Note of Gratitude

I wouldn’t be able to tell you any of this if it wasn’t for the choice I made over three years ago to start recovery. I am beyond grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to learn and grow, none of which would have been possible a few years ago. I’ve allowed myself to make mistakes, learn lessons, and start again and again (hellooo the four jobs I’ve had in the last two years!). It’s so important for us to look back at how far we’ve come, and celebrate those little and big wins along the way.

And, I wouldn’t be able to tell you any of this WITHOUT YOU GUYS, the readers. So, as always, I’m super grateful for all 1,000+ of you for being here today on this journey with me. Without you, my thoughts would be whirling in my head, with no space to put them out into the world and be able to help maybe just one person with each post I put out there. So thank YOU.

Xo, Pepetoe