There used to be a time when I thought being constantly available meant being a good person.

Quick to respond. Always reachable. Always “on.” Whether it was a text from a friend, a DM from a new follower, or an email about work, I was there. I prided myself on being the reliable one. The fixer. The shoulder. The safe space. But lately? I’m learning that being constantly available doesn’t make you a better friend, partner, employee or human being. It makes you exhausted.

It wasn’t just about work. Yes, I’d be checking emails late at night, or squeezing in freelance tasks between meals. But it was also in friendships: replying to every message immediately, always saying yes to plans, trying to be emotionally present even when I had nothing to give. I’d listen to other people’s problems without checking in on my own. I’d say “let’s FaceTime tonight!” when I was running on 3 hours sleep. I thought being there for people meant always being there. But slowly, I started to burn out, not just from work, but from life.

We live in a world where everything is instant. The second we go “offline”, even just for a few hours, it can feel like we’re disappointing someone. Like we’re slacking. Like we’re falling behind. But here’s the truth: you can love your job and still log off at 5. You can care deeply about your friends and still need time to yourself. You can be a supportive partner without replying to every message in under 10 minutes. Being unavailable sometimes doesn’t mean you’re unkind or unreliable. It just means you’re human.

I used to feel guilty for setting boundaries. For turning my phone on Do Not Disturb. For saying “I can’t talk right now.” For needing to cancel plans when I was overwhelmed. Now? I’ve realised that boundaries are a form of self-respect. They’re how I protect my energy so I can show up fully when it matters most. I don’t want to half-reply to your message. I don’t want to fake enthusiasm on a night out when I’d rather be curled up in bed. I want to be real with you. And sometimes that means being a little less… available.

What I’ve noticed since creating more space is that I actually enjoy my connections more. I’m a better listener when I’m rested. I’m a more supportive friend when I’m not drowning in my own to-do list. I laugh more. I think more clearly. I live more fully. Being constantly plugged in doesn’t make life richer. It actually makes it harder to appreciate the small, joyful moments that pass us by when we’re glued to our phones or worrying about who we’re letting down.

This isn’t about cutting people off or going rogue. It’s about honouring my own needs, so that I can continue to honour the people and passions I care about. So no, I’m not available 24/7 anymore. But I’m so much better for it. I’m more rested. More intentional. More me. And honestly? That version of me is the one I want to give to the people I love.