Accountability, Fear of Messing Up, and Holding Empathy For Others | Season 2 – The Pepetoe Podcast

In this episode, I’m diving into the messy, uncomfortable, but necessary topic of accountability. I talk about why it’s so hard for some of us to own up to our mistakes—especially when shame, fear, or ego gets in the way—and why real growth only happens when we stop deflecting and start getting honest with ourselves.I also explore what it looks like when someone else messes up—maybe a partner, a friend, a family member—and you're the one left hurt. Do you shut down? Do you help them through it? And what happens when you start feeling responsible for their actions, too?This is a vulnerable, real conversation about self-responsibility, emotional maturity, and letting go of accountability that doesn’t belong to you. Whether you struggle to say “I was wrong,” or you’re tired of carrying the emotional weight for others, this episode is for you.Let’s talk about how to own our part—and leave the rest.

New episode of The Pepetoe Podcast

Accountability. A word we hear a lot—but do we really understand what it means to practice it? In my latest episode of The Pepetoe Podcast, I dive into the uncomfortable truths around self-accountability, the emotional labor of supporting others when they mess up, and the all-too-common urge to take responsibility for things that aren’t even ours to begin with.

Here’s a breakdown of what we cover—and why I think this episode might just be one of the most important ones yet.

Why is it so hard to hold ourselves accountability?

In the first part of the episode, I talk about why it’s so difficult for many of us to own our mistakes. Whether it’s fear of rejection, perfectionism, or shame, accountability often feels like a threat to our identity.

If you’ve ever found yourself justifying your actions, blaming someone else, or shutting down when confronted—you’re not alone. I explore where those reactions come from, and why we need to push through that discomfort if we want to grow and build healthier relationships.

When Someone Hurts You—but They’re Trying to Make It Right

This part of the episode felt really personal. Because being hurt by someone you care about sucks—but what happens when that person actually does take accountability?

Do you meet them with silence or compassion? Do you walk away, or walk through it together?

I explore how vulnerability and emotional maturity play into these moments, and how powerful it can be to hold space for someone else while still honouring your own boundaries.

The Urge to Take Responsibility for Everyone Else

Let’s be honest—some of us are the “fixers.” The ones who absorb guilt that doesn’t belong to us. Who feel responsible when our friends mess up. Who carry the emotional weight in family dynamics. But here’s the thing: that’s not accountability—that’s self-abandonment.

In this episode, I reflect on where this urge comes from, how it can lead to burnout and resentment, and how we can start letting go of what was never ours to carry in the first place.

Final Thoughts: Accountability Is a Bridge, Not a Burden

I close the episode with this idea: real accountability isn’t about punishment or shame—it’s about connection, repair, and truth. It’s not always graceful. It’s definitely not easy. But it’s one of the most loving things we can offer ourselves and the people we care about.

If you’ve been struggling with forgiveness—of yourself or others—or you’re tired of taking on emotional responsibility that doesn’t belong to you, I hope this episode helps you feel seen, grounded, and a little more free.