As we now head into the summer months, it’s crucial to remember that no one is asking YOU directly to change. If you’re on socials, you may see the overwhelming stream of content telling you to do this, do that, all for the goal of being a “better you” (whether that’s mentally, or more commonly, physically) this summer.

The term “glow up” is a tricky one. Since I was a teenager, this concept was ingrained in me. Each summer I thought I’d have to go through some kind of transformation, to go back to school in September a completely new person. Whether that was trying a new hairstyle, using more expensive makeup, trying a new sport, or changing my entire personality. As I grew into my later teens, this turned into which workouts I’d do, how skinny I was, or if my abs were showing. It was a continuous cycle, every year. Before summer, to look good for parties, proms and so on, and then during summer, so that I’d look great when I returned to school.

Now that I’m out of the world of academia, I’m stayed far away from the “glow up”. But, over recent years, we’ve seen a slight change in this. A “glow up” is now turning into becoming a “wellness girly” – someone who says no to socialising, no to meals out, no to “unhealthy” foods, no to skipping a workout… or that’s how it seems. Since the “hot girl walk” came about in 2022, the world is still on this path of “fixing” people. When I say world, we know what I mean: social media. Hot pilates, running marathons, ice baths, 5am wakeups… it’s all a bit too much.

I think I’m past this desire to follow everyone else. I used to be someone who would follow a strict morning routine, from my alarm going off, to journalling, to a walk or run, taking my greens and so on. All would be written down on the whiteboard in my room, and I’d feel like a failure for going off track or missing something out. Hence why I say a “wellness girly”, as portrayed a lot on socials, means missing out on that fun social time, or the late nights (because you’d wake up later and miss out on your “feel good” routine). These routines, looking back, didn’t make me feel good. Sure, a walk or drinking my greens do have health benefits, but when it’s done in such a tight, strict way, it takes the fun out of trying to do something good for yourself, and you end up hating it.

What I’m trying to put into words here is that you don’t need to follow any trend or hype product to “glow up”. Hell, you don’t even need to “glow up”, darling. The pressure you are under to do so is slowly killing you, and that’s the truth. Ok, some people may thrive off this kind of thing – speaking from experience, as I did thrive (or I believed I did). Take the pressure off, slow down, and think about who you actually want to be, not who you think you have to be.

To change the narrative, use kind words. Sounds silly, I know. But instead of looking at yourself in the mirror this summer, judging what you see, or disliking how you look in summer-esque clothes like bikinis, tell yourself how far you’ve come, and that you are worth way more than your appearance or your weight.

Enjoy this summer, don’t reinvent yourself. And take this with you into any change in life – not just seasons. I’m about to start a new full-time job, and for once, I’m not scared. I’m taking it slow. I’m using it to learn. And I am not going to change myself for it. I’m enough exactly how I am, no matter who tells me otherwise.

Use this time to learn more about you, and to learn who you are without the trends, without the followers, without the likes. Step away from socials, and just be you.