There’s a silent narrative many of us have internalised — that if we succeed, if we shine too brightly, we might make others uncomfortable. That in celebrating ourselves, we risk being seen as arrogant, self-obsessed, or attention-seeking. So instead, we play it small. We shrink. We edit our stories so the spotlight stays neutral. We soften our joy, downplay our success, and dull our spark — all in the name of humility.
But here’s the truth: dimming your light doesn’t make others brighter — it just makes the world dimmer.
We weren’t put here to be half-versions of ourselves. And your light? It’s needed. Fully. Unapologetically.
We’re Taught to Make Ourselves Small
From a young age, we’re taught to say “sorry” for things that don’t need apologies. We’re encouraged to be agreeable, humble, modest — especially if we’re women, especially if we’re young, especially if we’re in a room where our confidence might stand out. Or… especially if we’re British – because we apologise for EVERYTHING!
We subconsciously learn that visibility equals threat. That taking up space will rock the boat. So we tone ourselves down. Not because we aren’t proud, but because we’re scared of being “too much.” Too loud, too confident, too opinionated, too happy, too something.
Over time, this shapes how we show up in the world. We stop celebrating ourselves in conversations. We flinch before posting that milestone on LinkedIn. We feel like we need to earn the right to talk about our success, and only if it’s wrapped in self-deprecation.
But here’s the thing: being proud doesn’t mean being boastful. Taking up space isn’t about stealing it from someone else. Your light isn’t in competition with anyone else’s.
There’s Room for All of Us to Shine
This isn’t a winning game. You shining doesn’t mean someone else dims. Confidence is not a pie chart, we don’t all get a limited slice.
In fact, your light might just be the thing that helps someone else find theirs.
When you show up fully — lit up, passionate, authentic — you don’t take space away from others. You create space. You show people what’s possible. You prove that joy is something worth claiming. And you remind others that they, too, are allowed to step into their power.
True confidence is contagious. It’s magnetic. And when it’s real, it uplifts instead of competes.
Dimming Yourself Doesn’t Serve Anyone
Let’s be clear — nobody benefits when you water yourself down. Not your colleagues, not your friends, not your audience. When you hide what makes you brilliant, the world loses out.
Think about the times you’ve been inspired by someone. Did their light dim yours? Or did it light a fire in you?
We need more people walking into rooms and saying: “I’m proud of who I am.” We need people who share their wins without apology. People who lead with authenticity. People who create a ripple effect just by being themselves.
If someone feels intimidated by your light, that’s not your burden to carry. Their discomfort doesn’t require your shrinkage.
Redefining What It Means to “Shine”
Maybe you’ve told yourself that being visible feels self-centred. That celebrating yourself feels icky or performative.
But shining isn’t about ego. It’s about alignment.
Shining means you’re living in a way that’s true to you. You’re owning your story. You’re speaking your truth. You’re showing up with presence and pride.
You can be kind and confident. You can be successful and grounded. You can shine brightly and still hold space for others.
In fact, the world needs more of that duality. Because when you model self-belief, you give others permission to do the same.
You Are Allowed to Take Up Space
This is your reminder:
- You don’t have to apologise for your voice.
- You don’t have to shrink your joy.
- You don’t have to downplay what you’ve worked hard for.
You are allowed to take up space. In your workplace, in your relationships, online, offline — wherever you go.
Your presence matters. Your story matters. Your success matters.
The Light Was Never Just Yours — It Was Always a Beacon
When you choose not to dim your lit, you become a guidepost. You become the “proof it’s possible” for someone who hasn’t yet found their voice.
So no — you don’t need to shrink. You don’t need to wait until your light feels more palatable. You don’t have to dull yourself just because someone else isn’t shining yet.
The most powerful thing you can do is light the way by simply being yourself.
Because when you glow, you don’t just make your world brighter — you remind others they can shine too.
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