For the perfectionists, the people-pleasers, the high achievers who spiral at the first sign of “not enough.”

Have you ever felt like your worth depended on how well you were doing?

Like if you weren’t smashing goals, ticking every box, or getting praise for how “on it” you were… then somehow, you were falling behind? Failing?

Imagine if you could pause that thought. Imagine if it wasn’t about being the best, the fastest, or the most impressive… but about being real. About being in it. Learning. Messing up. Still worthy.

Because somewhere along the line, many of us started believing that mistakes mean we’re not good enough. That if we’re not constantly exceeding expectations, we’re letting someone down: our boss, our family, ourselves. That to fall short is to disappoint.

But what if falling short wasn’t the end of the world?
What if it was a redirection, not a rejection?
What if it didn’t mean you’re broken – just still becoming?

Here’s what no one tells you: healing your relationship with achievement is messy. Especially when your identity has been built around being the one who always delivers. The girl with the plan. The one who stays late, says yes, gets it right.

But constantly proving your worth isn’t peace. It’s pressure. And it’s exhausting.

In therapy today, I spoke openly and honestly about this topic. It was raw, vulnerable, and painful. I’ve always been the one to overachieve, to say yes to all a million and one tasks, and somehow still gets it done. My therapist and I did a task about writing down all the thoughts that I have to do with failure, and my fear of it, as well as having to be the perfect one and the one who has a billion things on her plate. It was heartbreaking to see how I perceive myself. That I’ve “failed” if I make one mistake. That I’m not “worthy” if I do something wrong. That no one will “like” me if I mess up. It was painful. I wouldn’t say these things to my friends, my family, my loved ones. So why do I put all this pressure on myself to be so perfect?

But what if I’m not that girl anymore? What if I can no longer do all these things? It doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It doesn’t mean I’ve let anyone – or myself – down. It just means I’m no longer in that period of life that consisted of burnout, exhaustion and pain. I’m choosing to put myself and my needs first. It’s difficult and it’s messy, and it can take something so big, so important, to make us realise that this is what we need to focus on. But I’m now there, and I realise just how important my health is – both mental and physical.

So if you’re navigating a moment where things didn’t go the way you planned – maybe you didn’t get the role, or you missed the mark, or someone gave you feedback that stung (hi, this is all me!) – breathe.

You didn’t fail. You’re just in the middle.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is stay. Stay with yourself when it’s uncomfortable. Stay soft when your instinct is to harden. Stay open when all you want to do is shrink.

You’re allowed to be figuring it out.

You’re allowed to be a work-in-progress.

And you are still worthy. Not despite the messiness, but because of it.

So here’s your reminder: you are not behind. You are not broken. You are not failing just because the path looks different than you thought it would. Growth doesn’t always come with gold stars. Sometimes it comes with discomfort, reroutes, and quiet resilience. Let this be the season you rewrite what success means to you. Let this be the chapter where you choose self-trust over self-criticism. You’re still becoming, and that’s more than enough.