Social media is full of posts telling us that being the ‘coffee date friend’ isn’t enough. The trend suggests that real friendships should go beyond a quick catch-up over lattes—that we should be making the effort to plan big, meaningful days out and ‘special’ moments with the people we care about. But in our early 20s, when life is pulling everyone in different directions, is that really a fair expectation?
This new podcast episode explores why being the ‘coffee date friend’ isn’t a sign of being a bad friend—it’s actually a reflection of a life being fully lived. The idea that every meet-up has to be an event can put unnecessary pressure on friendships, turning what should be a natural connection into something that feels like another thing to schedule. A simple coffee catch-up isn’t a lack of effort—it’s a sign that even with busy schedules, there’s still time to check in, even in small ways.
The conversation also delves into the importance of having your own life outside of friendships. It’s okay to prioritise your own routine, career, hobbies, and personal growth without feeling guilty for not constantly planning elaborate meet-ups. In fact, having space apart makes the time you do spend together even richer—you actually have things to talk about, new experiences to share, and fresh energy to bring to the friendship.
So, do we really need to ‘cancel’ the coffee date friend? Or is it time to reframe the narrative and appreciate the different ways people maintain connection? This episode challenges the TikTok trend and makes the case for embracing friendships in whatever form they naturally take—whether that’s an all-day adventure or a quick coffee in between everything else life throws at us.
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