For the longest time, I thought I had to choose. Was I an introvert – the kind of person who craved quiet, preferred deep one-on-one conversations, and needed time alone to recharge? Or was I an extrovert – the life of the party, thriving in social settings, and always up for spontaneous plans?

Turns out, I’m both.

Some days, I’m the one making plans, filling my calendar with social events, and loving every second of it. Other days, the thought of small talk drains me before I even step out the door. I used to think this made me inconsistent or indecisive, or that I didn’t really know who I am, but in reality, I just didn’t fit into a single category. And honestly? Most people don’t.

So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck somewhere between being an extrovert and an introvert, you’re not alone. Let’s break down what it really means to be one, the other, or maybe a little bit of both.

What Defines an Extrovert and an Introvert?

We’ve all heard the classic descriptions: extroverts are the social butterflies who thrive on interaction, while introverts are the quiet ones who prefer solitude. But the reality is a lot more nuanced than that.

Extroverts: The Social Energizers

Extroverts tend to feel energised by being around people. They often:
✔ Love group settings and social events.
✔ Feel recharged through conversations and interactions.
✔ Are often expressive and outgoing.
✔ Enjoy spontaneity and external stimulation.
✔ Process thoughts out loud, thinking as they speak.

Because they’re seen as naturally social, people assume extroverts are always confident and talkative. But that’s not always the case, as some extroverts still experience social anxiety or need downtime to recharge.

Introverts: The Reflective Thinkers

Introverts, on the other hand, recharge by spending time alone. They typically:
✔ Prefer deep, meaningful conversations over small talk.
✔ Need solitude after socialising to regain energy.
✔ Think before they speak, often reflecting inwardly.
✔ Feel most comfortable in smaller, more intimate settings.
✔ Are more sensitive to external stimulation and may get easily overwhelmed.

Introverts often get mistaken for being shy or antisocial, but that’s not true. Many introverts love socialising, they just do it differently, in their own time and on their own terms.

Breaking the Myths

The biggest misconception? That you’re either one or the other, all the time. In reality, extroversion and introversion exist on a spectrum, and most of us fall somewhere in between. You might love a night out with friends but also need a full day to recover afterward. Or maybe you thrive in social settings but prefer one-on-one hangouts over big groups.

This is where the idea of “ambivert” comes in – where you can be both. And, to be honest, I think most of us are!

The Concept of Ambiversion

I don’t necessarily want to add in another label into society (as humans are very good and wanting to fit into boxes), but I think this concept of ambiversion can help a few of us out.

You can be both an extrovert and introvert. One day you can be one, the next the other. It’s a spectrum, like everything we label ourselves!

I used to think I had to be this “party girl”, back at school and then going into my time at university. These expectations grew from my friends, as I was always the one in the group to be going out and hosting my own gatherings. But then, no one cared and I was the one who planted those expectations on myself.

I didn’t realise this until this time last year, when I met “social burnout” – night out after night out was draining me to the point where I just had to stop. This was the moment I realised that I can be both extroverted and introverted, and you know what? It’s actually a lot easier.

Being an ambivert, and embracing it, takes the pressure off me. I can say yes or no to plans, and not feel guilty for either. Now I can ensure I’m making time for myself, and balance work, personal time, and social time. It’s kind of liberating.

How to Embrace Both Sides

If you feel like you’re caught between being an extrovert and an introvert, don’t panic. The good news is, you don’t have to pick a side. Instead of trying to fit into one label, you can learn to embrace both aspects of your personality and use them to your advantage.

1. Recognise What You Need in the Moment

Some days, you might crave social interaction and feel energised by being around others. Other days, you might need solitude to recharge. Listen to yourself and honour what you need, rather than forcing yourself into a box.

2. Set Boundaries for Your Social Energy

If you lean more introverted but enjoy socialising, set limits that work for you. Maybe that means scheduling downtime after a busy social event or choosing smaller gatherings over large crowds. On the flip side, if you’re naturally extroverted but need occasional alone time, don’t feel guilty for saying no to plans when you need a break.

3. Use Your Strengths in Different Situations

• In social settings, lean into your extroverted side to network, make connections, and enjoy shared experiences.
• In quieter moments, use your introverted side to reflect, focus, and recharge.
• If you’re in a work or leadership role, being able to adapt between the two can make you more versatile: knowing when to be outgoing and when to step back and listen is a superpower.

4. Accept That You’re Not One-Dimensional

Personality is fluid, and it’s okay if you don’t fit into one clear-cut category. The more you embrace both sides of yourself, the more balanced and confident you’ll feel. Whether you’re the life of the party one day or curling up alone with a book the next, it’s all part of what makes you, you.

Conclusion

We don’t have to fit into a box: our personalities aren’t rigid structures we have to follow. As we grow and learn more lessons in life, we might find we change. We’ll all go through periods in our lives when we feel like we need a little more down-time and become more of an introvert, and then we might find ourselves craving social attention and leaning more towards being an extrovert.

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is one or the other. Sure, there’s the shy people and then there’s the party animals, but we all need both sometimes.

We are all unique, and we shouldn’t follow what everyone else is doing. Enjoy that night in, or enjoy that night out! Who cares? Most Friday nights I’m either in the bath with a glass of wine, or watching Twilight, despite being in my 20s and most my friends are back home from uni. I enjoy it, and I don’t care what others say!

Here’s a question to think about next time you open your journal: Do you feel like you’re more of an extrovert, introvert, or somewhere in between?