It has been a while since I shared a post about ED recovery, and so we’re back today with another. In fact, from now on, I will be doing a new series called “The ED Recovery Journal” from today, with new posts every Monday, so stay tuned for that and subscribe if you haven’t already!

Even now, with so much more awareness about eating disorders, the recovery journey, especially the later end of it, is hardly spoken about. This is the stage of recovery that I will be focusing on within this new blog series.

I have been in ED recovery for over two years now, and as I have said before it has been a wild rollercoaster. A few months ago I made the claim that I feel “recovered”, despite having told my close family and friends (and even my therapist) that I don’t believe anyone is ever truly “recovered”, as these habits stick with you for a long time. After all, eating disorders are a mental disorder, not a physical one. Looking back now, I don’t think I am fully “recovered”, but I do feel fully able to cope with those hard days, and especially the triggers.

Today I wanted to talk to you about dealing with those triggers that come from other people in your life. Maybe you still struggle with eating out, or you have misophonia (selective sound sensitivity syndrome), or your parents or partner eat a lot more (or a lot little) than you. I am going to cover some of these triggers today, as these are things that even I still have to tackle.

At the later stages of recovery, you might think you know what you are doing by now, and you might get really irritated and frustrated with yourself if you have a slip up. Remember that these days are totally okay, as no one is ever truly healed with an eating disorder. It can take years to “recover” (whatever your definition of that is) and some triggers and behaviours may take longer to dissipate than others. The most important thing to remember is that every day you are winning. Every day that you don’t give into those voices in your head, telling you to put that cookie down or to get on the treadmill, you are winning. Some days will be harder, even years down the line.

How do I know when I am triggered?

If you have been in recovery for a while, you will have become familiar with your main triggers. However, sometimes you don’t quite understand why you still get triggered over certain things, or why a little thing has stirred up quite the commotion in your head. It’s ok to feel a little frustrated at these times, especially if you’re like me and you’ve been doing this for a while! As I said, every day is a battle still, and we work towards make those voices quieter and quieter every day; they’ll never quite go away, but we can make our head a calmer, more of a judgement-free zone.

In the later stages of eating disorder recovery, recognising when you are triggered is crucial for maintaining your progress and well-being. The first step in identifying a trigger is to check in with your emotions. Ask yourself how you are feeling in the moment. Are you experiencing anxiety, sadness, anger, or frustration? Pinpointing these emotions is key to understanding the root of your discomfort.

Once you’ve identified your emotions, try to figure out why you feel this way. Reflect on your recent experiences to determine if any specific event or interaction set off these feelings. Did someone make a comment about your appearance or eating habits? Did a particular situation remind you of past struggles with your eating disorder? Understanding the connection between your current emotions and your eating disorder can help you address the underlying issues. Remind yourself that you are safe and protected in your present environment. This can help ground you and reduce the intensity of the trigger. If the feelings become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask for help from the people around you. They can provide the support and reassurance you need to navigate through the trigger and continue your recovery journey.

Recognising and addressing triggers is a continuous learning process. In addition to checking in with your emotions and understanding their origins, it’s important to develop strategies for managing these triggers. One effective approach is to create a list of healthy coping mechanisms that you can turn to when you feel triggered. This might include activities such as journaling, deep breathing exercises, going for a walk, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can also help you stay present and reduce the impact of triggers. Lastly, always be kind and patient with yourself. Recovery is a journey, and experiencing triggers is a normal part of the process. By continuously building your resilience and seeking support, you can navigate through these challenging moments and continue moving forward in your recovery.

Recap:

1. Ask yourself how you are feeling: what emotions are you feeling with right now?
2. Figure out why you feel this way: did anything happen to set it off?
3. Question how this connects to your eating disorder: is it something somebody else said?
4. Remind yourself that you are safe and protected in this environment
5. Ask for help from the people around you
6. Not only recognising, but also addressing your triggers is crucial for this learning stage
7. Develop strategies (possibly new ones at this more progressed stage of recovery) to help manage these triggers
8. Remember, be kind and patient with yourself. You might not be there yet, but you have this in you!

How do I communicate with others about these triggers?

Communicating with others about your triggers is essential for building a supportive environment and ensuring your needs are respected. Using assertive communication can help you express your feelings and boundaries clearly and effectively. Start by calmly explaining how certain comments or situations make you feel, using “I” statements to focus on your own experiences rather than blaming others. For example, say, “I feel anxious when conversations revolve around dieting or body image.” Be specific about the triggers and the type of support you need, whether it’s avoiding certain topics or offering reassurance. Encourage open dialogue by inviting questions and expressing gratitude for their understanding and support. Remember, effective communication is a two-way street, so also listen to their perspectives and be open to finding mutually beneficial solutions. By communicating assertively and honestly, you can foster a more empathetic and supportive network around you.

It is not up to you to control how others feel, how they eat, how they think. Your parents or other close friends or partners may make comments about body image, food habits and so on, whether directed at you or not. It is not up to you to change their mindset. What is up to you is to control how you feel about their comments.

Examples of Triggers

1. Dealing with other people’s food and exercise habits

One common trigger for individuals in the later stages of eating disorder recovery is dealing with other people’s food habits. This can be especially challenging when those habits starkly contrast with your own. For instance, my boyfriend is an athlete who exercises a lot and consequently eats significantly more than I do. Watching him consume large portions can sometimes make me feel uncomfortable or anxious about my own eating habits.

In such situations, it’s important to remind yourself that everyone has different nutritional needs based on their activity levels and body types. His dietary intake is tailored to fuel his demanding exercise routine, while mine is suited to my own unique requirements. When feelings of comparison or anxiety arise, acknowledge them and remind yourself that your recovery journey is unique and valid.

Communicating openly with your partner (or whoever it is) about how their eating habits can sometimes trigger these feelings is crucial. Use assertive communication to express your emotions and needs without placing blame. For example, you could say, “I feel uneasy when I see large amounts of food because it makes me question my own eating habits. It would help if we could find ways to make me feel more comfortable during meals together.” By sharing your experiences and working together, you can create a supportive environment that respects both your needs and their dietary requirements.

2. Misophobia: “The Fear of Loud Chewing”

Another example of a trigger in the later stages of eating disorder recovery is the fear of loud chewing. This particular trigger can be linked to a heightened sensitivity to food-related sounds, which might stem from past anxieties about eating and mealtime behaviors. For instance, during family gatherings or social events, the sound of others chewing loudly can provoke a sense of discomfort or distress, making it difficult to focus on your own meal and enjoy the moment.

When faced with this trigger, it’s helpful to recognize the underlying emotions it stirs up, such as anxiety or irritation. Ask yourself why these sounds affect you so strongly and if they are connected to any specific past experiences with your eating disorder. Understanding this connection can help you manage your response more effectively.

To cope with this trigger, consider employing strategies such as focusing on your breathing, using calming techniques like listening to music through earbuds, or sitting at a different spot at the table to minimise the noise. Engaging in mindful eating practices can also help you stay present and reduce anxiety. By directing your attention to the sensory experience of your own meal, you can shift focus away from the distracting sounds around you. Additionally, practicing self-compassion and reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable can help you navigate these situations with more ease.

3. Eating out

Eating out at restaurants can remain a significant trigger even after two years of recovery from an eating disorder. The uncertainty surrounding menu options, portion sizes, and the social dynamics of dining out can provoke anxiety and discomfort. For example, despite feeling more confident in your recovery journey, the thought of eating in a restaurant might still bring up concerns about making the “right” food choices and how others might perceive your eating habits.

When dining out, it can be helpful to plan ahead to manage this trigger. Researching the menu beforehand can help you decide on a meal that aligns with your recovery goals and dietary preferences, reducing the stress of making a decision on the spot. Consider choosing a familiar restaurant where you feel more comfortable and know what to expect.

Remember that it’s okay to set boundaries for yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, it’s perfectly acceptable to excuse yourself for a brief walk or to engage in a calming activity, such as texting a supportive friend. Over time, these strategies can help you build confidence and make dining out a more enjoyable and less stressful experience.

Navigating triggers is an integral part of the recovery journey from an eating disorder. By identifying and understanding your triggers, such as other people’s food habits, the fear of loud chewing, or dining out at restaurants, you can develop effective coping strategies to manage them. It’s important to remember that recovery is a continuous process that involves learning and adapting. Through self-awareness, planning, and employing healthy coping mechanisms, you can mitigate the impact of these triggers and maintain your progress. Be patient with yourself and seek support when needed. With time and practice, you will find greater confidence and resilience in handling the challenges that come your way, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life in recovery.