20th March 2024
Keywords: confidence, arrogance, friendships, friends, relationships, authenticity, yourself, communication, assertive, self-worth, growth, discovery, journey, healing, radiance, boundaries, empowerment, flaws, acceptance, positive, energy, positivity

Episode Summary

1. Introduction

Today I’m talking about all things self-confidence, boundaries and embracing authenticity. Join me as we delve into subthemes such as the difference between self-confidence and arrogance, and how we can stand up for ourselves in competitive friendships.

2. Understanding Confidence + Arrogance

Confidence isn’t about boasting or belittling others; it’s about recognising your worth and pursuing your goals unapologetically. Learn how to distinguish between genuine self-confidence and misplaced arrogance, and why it’s crucial to embrace the former.

Self-confidence is a genuine belief in one’s abilities and worth, leading to assertive and proactive behaviour. It involves recognising personal strengths without diminishing others and radiates positivity and warmth. Arrogance, on the other hand, manifests as an exaggerated sense of superiority, often accompanied by belittling or condescending behaviour towards others, stemming from insecurity rather than genuine self-assurance.

3. The Radiance of Genuine Confidence

Have you ever been in the same room as someone who exhibits this kind of self-confidence? They literally glow with good energy and warmth. You’ve probably asked yourself (or them) “how are you so confident?” and they usually say “because I know my worth”. That is not arrogance, though I understand why some people would shy away from that.

You are attracted to these people – not in a romantic way, but in a high-vibe kind of way. These people you want in your life. They will be a constant source of positive energy for you, and I say all the time how important it is to surround yourself with uplifting people.

4. Exploring Competitive Friendships

Competitive friendships can be draining, leaving you constantly vying for validation and attention. Here’s the thing: you should not feel like you have to hide your true self for the sake of other people. The worst kind of people in the world who judge people for having passions, for being passionate about things, you quash them for getting excited. This is one of my favourite quotes of all time – by Miss Blondie, of course. If you feel like you have to dim your light around other people, that’s not good.

Sometimes friendships can become competitive. Sometimes you find yourself in a friendship (group) and you’re constantly battling for attention, constantly one-upping each other. “Who has the better boyfriend, who had better sex, who has a better job, who has better grades?” And this is frankly exhausting. Then there’s those friendships were the other person is really insecure and even jealous. So much so that you feel like you have to dim your light a little when you’re around them. You don’t feel like you can share your achievements because that would just make them feel insecure. But let me tell you this: if you have ‘friends’ in your life who don’t celebrate your achievements – no matter how big or small – and don’t see the value in those little achievements when they’re supposed to be your friend and know that that little thing is a huge win for you, they are not your friends. You should not have to dim your light for the sake of someone else’s worries and insecurities.

You will come across people in your life who, unfortunately, do take advantage of you and make you feel small, undervalued and used. But this is not your fault. Read the next two sections for ways to deal with this.

5. Setting Boundaries

Set boundaries in your life so that you don’t have to feel this way again. And don’t forget to stand up for yourself god! Ok, maybe you’re scared that that person will walk out of your life if you stand up for yourself. First of all, they should be proud of you for standing up for yourself. Secondly, they should listen (actually listen not just nod their head) and support you, and ask you what they can do to help. If they retaliate and shout back (not saying that you should shout, but rather voice it calmly and intelligently), tell them how that is making you feel, and now if you feel comfortable, please walk out of that situation. if you’ve tried to tell someone how they make you feel small, undervalued etc., and then they continue to that when you’re trying to get them to understand, truth is they probably don’t understand and never will. Moral of the story? They don’t deserve someone like you in their life, and you don’t deserve someone like that in your life.

6. Practicing Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is key to advocating for your needs and desires while respecting the rights of others. Learn how to express yourself clearly and confidently, fostering healthy relationships built on mutual respect.

Standing up for yourself is often easier said than done, but it’s an essential skill for maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries. Many of us struggle with asserting our needs and desires, fearing conflict or rejection. However, learning to assert ourselves respectfully and confidently is crucial for our well-being. One effective strategy is to practice assertive communication, which involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and directly, while also respecting the rights of others. This might involve using ‘I’ statements to express your feelings, setting boundaries, and refusing unreasonable requests. By embracing assertiveness, we can advocate for ourselves in a way that fosters mutual respect and understanding in our interactions with others.

7. Cultivating Self-worth + Confidence

Self-worth forms the cornerstone of empowerment and resilience, enabling you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and grace.

Just know this: you are worthy of everything good in your life. You don’t deserve the bullshit.

When we have a strong sense of self-worth, we’re better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and grace. It involves acknowledging our strengths, accepting our flaws, and embracing our uniqueness. Self-worth isn’t about being perfect; it’s about honouring our worthiness of love, respect, and happiness simply by virtue of being human. Cultivating self-worth requires self-reflection, self-compassion, and a willingness to challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. By prioritising our self-worth, we create a solid foundation for building healthy relationships, pursuing our goals, and living authentically.

8. Embracing Authenticity

It’s so exciting when you finally understand your self-worth, when you accept all your flaws, and finally just live authentically – just you. being yourself can be hard, especially in this social climate, but it’s the only thing that will set you apart from everyone else. most people aren’t authentic — instagram filters, facetune, fillers, makeup etc. When you learn that you are beautiful — inside and out — just the way you are, you see pure magic happen! It’s all about self-growth and acceptance. Remember that you will always be your oldest friend, so be kind to yourself always.

9. Conclusion

Unlocking the power of self-confidence isn’t just about standing tall; it’s about embracing authenticity and asserting yourself respectfully in all areas of your life. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness—simply by being you. So, go ahead, embrace your brilliance, and shine bright!

10. Journal Prompt

Reflect on a time when you found yourself hesitating to assert your needs or beliefs due to fear of judgment or rejection. What limited beliefs or self-doubts held you back from standing up for yourself? How did this experience impact your self-confidence and relationships? Consider how you can challenge these limiting beliefs and empower yourself to assert your boundaries and values confidently in similar situations in the future.