Eating disorders are often characterised by an internal struggle, a relentless battle between body and mind. The fear of gaining weight, the compulsion to restrict food, or the urge to engage in purging behaviours can consume the individual’s thoughts and actions. But there’s something even scarier, hidden beneath the surface, that becomes painfully evident only when one embarks on the path to recovery: the profound impact these conditions have on the people you love.

The Hidden Toll

When ensnared in the throes of an eating disorder, it’s all too easy to become tunnel-visioned, focusing solely on the numbers on the scale or the reflection in the mirror. The insidious nature of these illnesses often blinds individuals to the collateral damage they inflict on their relationships. Friends, family members, and partners bear witness to the emotional turmoil and physical deterioration, powerless to help.

Unintentional Hurts

Eating disorders can turn even the most compassionate and understanding individuals into unwitting victims of the sufferer’s pain. Loved ones may struggle with feelings of helplessness, frustration, and guilt as they watch someone they care deeply about spiral into a cycle of self-destruction. Innocent comments about appearance or food choices can become landmines, exploding into emotional turmoil.

A Journey Toward Recovery

It’s only when an individual decides to pursue recovery that the full extent of their impact becomes apparent. Choosing recovery is an act of bravery, one that involves not only facing one’s own demons but also acknowledging the harm inflicted on those who cared enough to stand by. This realisation can be heart-wrenching and humbling, but it’s an essential step towards healing for everyone involved.

The Healing Power of Apology

Recognising the pain caused by an eating disorder is the first step towards amending broken bonds. Apologising to loved ones for the unintentional hurt and distress is a crucial part of the recovery journey. It’s an opportunity to rebuild trust, foster open communication, and work together toward a brighter future.

Support, Understanding, and Love

Recovery from an eating disorder is not a solitary journey. It’s a collective effort that involves not just the individual but also their support network. Loved ones play a crucial role in the healing process by offering understanding, patience, and unwavering support.

In the end, the scariest thing about an eating disorder is the potential to damage the relationships we hold dear. However, it’s also a powerful reminder of the resilience of human connections. By choosing recovery, individuals not only heal themselves but also mend the bonds they may have unknowingly strained. In this process, they discover that love, understanding, and forgiveness can be the strongest forces in overcoming the scariest aspects of an eating disorder.

A Note From Me

I am someone who didn’t realise this until after I chose recovery, and it is something I have thought a lot about recently. I didn’t see how much I was hurting my family and my friends, specifically my parents. The tantrums at dinner, the sleepless nights, the fear that I’d go too far with it… I was so caught up in the eating disorder that I couldn’t see beyond it. All I can do now is thank those who stayed with me through those dark times, those who supported me and didn’t lose hope. Now, I am stronger than ever and this is one of the main things stopping me from ever going back.

Another thing that is majorly helping me when those thoughts try and seep back in – because they still do from time to time – is that I never want the new people in my life to see me that way, particularly my boyfriend. They are lucky they know me now and didn’t have to see what mess I was in. Sure, it has made me who I am today, but I never want them to see the reason why I am so strong and why I frickin’ love food now!

Remember, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important thing. You can’t find love for anyone else in your life until you find the love for yourself.

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Signing off,

Pepetoe x