19 Things I Have Learnt in 19 Years

Friday 15 July

Memories over gym

This is something which I often talk about nowadays, but since I was 12 I believed that working out and being “healthy” was more important than friends and family. I missed out on so many days and nights out with family and friends over the past six years. And the events I did attend, I don’t remember because I was too consumed with the calories and wondering how I could burn it all off the next day. I have now learned that going out for dinner and having starter, main and dessert and lots of wine isn’t going to harm you as much as missing out on that memory will. Missing the gym to meet friends or to attend your brother’s graduation isn’t going to hurt you. Having lazy mornings with your family on a Sunday with a full breakfast spread isn’t going to hurt you. Believing those things is what will hurt you and consume you.

Nobody really cares

This point and the next tie together. We are so consumed by the idea that everyone judges us and cares what we do. Although there are those people in the world, most of the time nobody really cares what you wear or what music you listen to. What’s important is to just be yourself regardless. If you want to wear crazy clothing and listen to wacky tunes, why not? Nobody really cares because they are too busy navigating their own lives to see what you’re doing. This is harder to believe now that we have social media, where we feel like everyone is always watching us and commenting on how we look. That’s false. Some people will be horrible, that’s just life. Forgive them because they are most likely going through their own troubles and taking it out on you. Be patient and kind with others in this respect.

Everyone is self-obsessed

Everything starts with your relationship with yourself

You are the only person you have to live with forever. Everything starts there. When you start taking care of yourself and putting in effort to better your lifestyle and mindset because you want to, everything shifts slightly yet greatly. You see the world more clearly, and from a different perspective. Once you start loving yourself and being kind to yourself, then you can start dating or succeeding in your career. Like anything, you have to start from the bottom, the foundation, the core. Then, you can build up, like laying bricks down for a house, and create the life you dream of at night now.

Live in the moment and be present

Stop chasing your dreams and appreciate & acknowledge what is front of you. We often miss out on the present moment because we are too busy planning the next trip away or thinking about tomorrow’s meeting. I have learnt this over the last month as I have begun the travelling chapter of my life, appreciating all the sights and feelings that come about when I arrive in a new place. Wherever you are right now, stop and appreciate everything you have around you and live in the moment you are currently living in.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is hard but essential

Life isn’t fair

Some people get a load of money in their life, others don’t. Some people have super clear skin, others are fated to have raging acne. We are all unique and that means that sometimes the universe gives us different things and the world treats us differently. That’s ok. Life isn’t fair. We must learn to accept that and not use it as an excuse for when things go wrong.

Every body is a good body

Your body and weight, shape and size are going to fluctuate daily, hourly and throughout your life as a whole. We often believe we have to satisfy society’s ever-changing definition of “the ideal body” which leads us down damaging roads. I have learnt that it doesn’t matter what size you are and what you look like, you friends and family love you for who you are and not what you are. The world will still pass by the exact same regardless of your body or your curves or stretch marks. You still have to pay rent, work and live the same life when you’ve lost that weight, so what’s the actual point?

Appreciate the little things

Mistakes are lessons

I used to hate this idea when teachers would echo it at school, especially when the art teacher would ban erasers. It’s true, though. Much like regrets, there are no mistakes in life. They are lessons, teaching us vital lessons on how to move on and use it to create a better you each day. Sure we may mess up every once in a while, some days more than others. But we can use those moments to help us learn and grow.

Comparison is the thief of joy

We waste SO MUCH time comparing our lives, jobs and bodies to peers. Online and in the real world. It seems to be a part of the human brain, to constantly envy others and put ourselves down for not having what they do. It’s silly. We are all unique, with our different paths and living different lives. Focus on yourself and nothing else.

Negative thinking is so powerful it is destructive

Gratitude is the key to a higher self and a better mindset

Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles it takes away today’s peace

This adds on to the previous point of living in the moment. Anxiety runs through the veins of society. We are always worrying and metaphorically (or not) biting down our nails in anticipation and uncertainty of tomorrow. Why? By worrying, we cannot control what happens tomorrow – it’s going to happen regardless of how much we stress. We need to learn to contain and understand these feelings of anxiety, addressing why we’re anxious but not letting it build up into panic. Focus on each day at a time and work out how to compensate that worry – what can you do today to cope with it and prepare better for tomorrow?

Teenage life sucks

At high school, everyone is changing, becoming young adults and ultimately going through utter crap. We all suffer with our own demons all at the same time which rubs off on each other and we all become angry, pained young people. We all endure it unfortunately and some worse than others. But we get through it eventually and understand that that part of our life was key to building who we are today once we have got to the end. Truthfully, there is no “end” as such, as life is a rollercoaster we never get off. But there is an end to the teenage years, it’s just whether you implement that better mentality once you physically leave those years in terms of age.

Be proud of yourself

It’s often thought of as selfish and egoistic to praise yourself for achievements (no matter how big or small). Now it is time to start letting yourself know that you are proud of those moments. Say it out loud, write it down, or tell yourself in your mind. It’s all part of the process of becoming a better you. We live in a world where it’s classed as normal to talk self-deprecatingly and put yourself down in a regular basis. That’s not normal and this needs to change as we start to appreciate all the things we do and complete and succeed in. Write down three things each day that you are proud of in yourself, compile a list.

Social media is toxic

Unfortunately, recently I have seen so many negative effects of social media. I believe, though, (and this is something I will bring up again in another post) that we are using it wrong. It was not created to make a destructive world; it was created with the vision of connecting people all over the world and facilitate business and trade. It’s a platform to store all your memories and keep up with friends. Instead, we use social media as a way to knock people down and compare. It’s a cruel world thanks to it, so we must learn how to reverse our ways and use it for good.

You have to have a drive and purpose in order to succeed in whatever you want to do

You cannot expect everything to fall at your feet. Manifesting a dreamlife works to an extent, but you have to work for it. You can only find success once you have started to put in the effort and the motivation for it.

We are meant to have fun (and eat carbs)!

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