Thursday 7 April –

As part of the human condition, we seem to want to cling onto negatives in our life. We seek the desire to complain about little things and mishaps that arise. And a lot of the time, we don’t want to accept that something good can happen and instead look for the bad that can follow – the “what ifs” and “that’s too good to be true”.

Here’s a list of 10 things to put down:

1. The idea of a “perfect life”
   Nobody’s life is perfect. Life can’t be perfect, or else we wouldn’t learn all the lessons we need to in order to better ourselves and better the world we live in. Even those “perfect” pictures we see online may be doctored or only show one side of someone’s life – we never know what people are going through on the other side of the phone.
   Life is about learning from mistakes and growing. Each day is a chance to learn and develop into something new, which is so exciting and we should be grateful that we get this new start every single day.
   
2. The need to control everything.
   There are certain things we can control, and certain things we cannot. Let go of the desire to want everything to be perfect and to have everything go your way. Although we cannot control what the universe throws at us, and the obstacles that fall in our path, we can, however, control how we react to them, how we deal with and face these complications.
   
3. Worry about yesterday, or tomorrow.
   We can control today, we cannot control yesterday or tomorrow, so be present. Take each day one day at a time and know that only you can control how your day goes and how you feel.
   
4. Worrying about what others think of you.
   This is your life. Nobody else gets to live it therefore nobody has the power to judge it. We are all unique, following very different paths. Somebody’s opinion of you holds no power over your opinion of yourself. What matters is only what you think of yourself, and this shouldn’t be shaped by comments and utterances made by the people around you.
   
5. Unhealthy relationships.
   Cut out those people who bring you negative energy; there is no room for these people in your life. You want to be able to grow, to flourish, to excel and succeed, without weight dragging you down. This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for you to focus on yourself and own self-growth.
   
6. Trying to make everybody happy.
   Not everyone is going to like the decision you make in life. Some will be jealous of you and envy your life, others will simply dislike you for it. What matters is making yourself happy and content with the life you are leading, and if that makes others happy along the way as a side product, that’s a bonus. Always prioritise yourself and take time to look after you and only you.
   
7. Unrealistic expectations.
   We and the society put too much pressure on each other. No matter what age you are, expectations will be held over you. Sometimes we also put too much pressure on ourselves, to be social, to excel in academic study, to be a “good friend/daughter/son”. Sometimes we are the reason for our own hindrances and what’s important is that we can recognise this and give ourselves room to grow. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and give yourself realistic goals and timeframes to accomplish these things. Allow yourself to fail sometimes, as long as you learn and grown from these mistakes.
   
8. Fear of the unknown.
   We cannot know what is behind those closed doors. Tomorrow holds a realm of exciting yet possible frightful possibilities. We can’t possibly start to imagine what life is like in two, five or ten years. So, why waste time fretting about what we don’t know? Enjoy the life you have right now, with the people you love and can spend such precious time with. Breathe into today and accept that most of life is in fact unknown, and that’s what makes it so limitless and exciting.
   
9. Overscheduling your life.
   What are you doing today, tomorrow? What plans have you made, the jobs you have listed that need doing? Have you packed your week full to the hour? Take a step back and remember that we need rest and recovery. We also need to time to just exist and be with our own thoughts and mind. Take time in the mornings and evenings to unwind and reflect on your day. Don’t make life too busy or you’ll miss the little things you do that bring you the most joy.
   
10. Finally, the belief that “the grass is always greener on the other side”.
    The things that you do not have are not always more appealing than the things that you do have. Be content with what you have right now. You have a life, you exist, surely that is enough. The constant dream of having the next best thing – the better car, the next model of the iPhone, any literal or even abstract thing like your next lover – can drain you. Live in the present and stop the seeking for more. Be content with moderation and treat your life and yourself with gratitude and respect: you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now.