The term ‘fake friends’ is used a lot at the moment, especially by teenagers. For girls (and I am guessing it’s the same for boys), at some point in our school life, we enter the treacherous phase of finding who are our true friends, through the pain of learning the meaning of ‘fake friends’. This journey is hard but there’s definitely a good prize at the end to the road: who are real friends are. For me, this made me not hate the journey as much as I did before learning this.
The dictionary definition of a ‘friend’ is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection (Google), or someone you know well and like, but is not related to you. Both of these definitions sum up the main concept of friendship, but it misses out all of the nitty-gritty stuff. The kind that I like to sink my teeth into.
A friend has to have three main competencies: loyalty, understanding, and support. They have to stay with you through thick and thin, all the while you learn who they are and they learn who you are; they have to analyse who you are and understand you; and support your every decision and stand by your side through everything, but that’s just the surface.
A friend has to reciprocate your compassion and generosity. Friendship cannot be one-way, or it will collapse, as all of the weight of it will be bestowed on that one person, and that’s not good.
A friend is someone who you can sit with and cry whilst eating ice cream at 3a.m., or hold your back when you are throwing up after a night of too much wine. Someone whom you are totally comfortable with and trust with every bone in your body. Someone whom you can rely on to tell you when you are being stupid or overreacting; who’s not scared of telling you the truth.
That’s another really important point: honesty. Friends are 100% honest with each other, and tell each other when they think the other is crossing the line with something. If you can’t tell your friend that you’re doing something, chances are that you shouldn’t be doing it. You shouldn’t feel like you have to hide something from your friend, because if you are, then you shouldn’t be doing whatever that is. Secrets shouldn’t be kept from friends; if you trust them 100%, you can trust them with your deepest, darkest secrets.
So, I ask you now, what are your thoughts on what a true friend is? Do you have anyone in your life whom you can describe as a true friend, or are you surrounding by more negative, fake people? Go away and have a think about your current friendship group and whether or not they are helping you and supporting you through something that you are going through. If they are not, then something is going wrong with that relationship.
Thanks for reading this post – I apologise for another post on my ranting about my thoughts on happiness/friendship! Stay safe ❤